Can you give me a good goddamn?
So long about seven yesterday evening I started feeling like I had a really bad case of gas. Uncomfortable but somewhat bearable. By the time ten or so rolled around it was getting pretty ugly. I had tried to go to the bathroom probably twenty times hoping that each successive time would prove to be the one that passed whatever the fuck it was that I had eaten. I started thinking food poisoning or maybe kidney infection. Ten thirty and I was back out in the living room asking the wife if there was something I could take. I was in god-awful pain and didn’t know what the hell to do about it. We called the 24-hour nurse call and they were real helpful.
‘Seek medical attention and if the pain gets worse in the next hour call 911’
crap.
We decided that a trip to the emergency room was going to be unavoidable. I couldn’t sit or lie down, I was pacing and each successive step just made me feel worse. Add in to all this the fact that I was up on the phone until 11pm Thursday evening with work and got back up at 3:30 yesterday morning. I felt like dogshit. Hammered dogshit as Acidman used to say.
Where you sign in at the emergency room in Villa Rica there’s a screen that shows the wait times. Mine showed four hours. Four fucking hours? I asked the nurse at reception about it and she nodded. Off I went pacing around the emergency room probably looking like some ice-head in need of his next fix and obviously in pain. Less than five minutes later she calls me back, checks my blood pressure and tells me to pee in a cup.
Nothing like a little blood in your urine to get you moved to the front of the fucking line! We were back in the rooms pretty quickly after that. As usual they had a bit of trouble sticking me and getting blood and then gave me some kind of pain killer/anti-inflammatory. The doctor came in and said that what I had described was pretty classic signs of a kidney stone but they just wanted to know how big it was so off I went for a CT scan and x-rays. By the time I got back to the room, probably an hour later, I was in pain again and it was starting to get pretty uncomfortable.
The nurse hits me with four mm of morphine at that point. I don’t guess I have ever had morphine before. Even with all of the hell raising I did as a juvenile delinquent morphine just wasn’t on my list of things I had done. That took care of the pain for a couple of hours anyway.
We got back home around 3am. In pain. The pharmacist told me I needed to wait at least three hours before taking any of the narcotics prescribed to me because of the morphine. I ended up finally being able to fall asleep on the couch and just now woke up needing a pain pill. I guess that’s the only reason I’m up now. Waiting on the drugs to kick in.
I’m not a pussy when it comes to pain. Except for my eyes and nuts I consider myself pretty pain tolerant. This shit makes me want to start blubbering like a baby. Except for when I got sheet metal flakes in my eye, which was pretty localized pain, I don’t think I’ve ever felt pain like this before.
Needless to say I called in to work today. Actually I text messaged my boss around 2am, letting him know and then while I was waiting at the CVS for my drugs I called all three of my stores and told them to make sure that the managers did NOT call me this morning.
That’s almost as painful. I have had to move my schedule around here and there when the kids are sick and it’s my turn and I’ve changed my days off a few times when I had a cold but I haven’t called in ‘sick’ to work since sometime in 2002 or 2003. It’s just not something I believe in. I told the nurse that I don’t call in sick unless I’m in the hospital so I guess this counts…

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