Dick Rocks and Other Sundry Unpleasantries

So it’s been quite a while since I stopped in here. Almost a ghost town it seems…

Right after the holidays I had started posting regularly on my crime site and I had intended on sprucing this place up along with Shadowscope and importing some of my other stuff here. Life apparently had other ideas and threw a monkey wrench into the mix.

A few weeks ago, the Thursday prior to the big snowstorm as a matter of fact, I started feeling a bit under the weather. It had been a long day and I had a meeting out in fucking Paulding County since I am opening another store there next week. I figured maybe I was coming down with a bug or something.

I made it through the day but by the time Friday morning rolled around I knew EXACTLY what was going on, having had a kidney stone a couple of years ago. That first one seemed horrific to me but after this last ordeal I think I had it easy. When I had that first one I was in a lot of pain, visited the hospital the first day, got some pain killers and was sent home. I passed the stone a couple of days later and went back to work the next day.

This time around my body wasn’t going to cooperate. I got out of bed Friday, got ready for work and sat down at my computer for my morning coffee and dose of online madness. Within an hour I had stripped down and was shivering like a wet dog on the couch. My wife called my boss and let him know what was going on, we dropped the kids to school and off to the hospital we went.

Initially it was the same deal as before. Pain pills, a CT scan to see the kidney stone, and sent home to drink lots of water. By the time Tuesday had rolled around and there was six inches of fucking snow and ice on the ground, I knew things weren’t going right. Not only had I not passed the damn thing but the problem with Percocet is that it tends to make you constipated, so I had a week worth of shit backing up and it made things hurt twice as bad. Either I could take pain pills and eventually explode, or not take them and just deal with it. Both prospects were pretty crappy.

Wednesday we went to see the Urologist, who decided we needed to some kind of sonic rock crushing thing the next day. It went pretty smoothly I guess but I can tell you one damn thing. I hate fucking general anesthesia. You wake up feeling like crap, groggy, tired and then there is the puking. Dayum.

I ended up spending the weekend working from the house but didn’t get much accomplished. FINALLY passed the stone that Monday afternoon after I got home from work. I had stopped taking any pain killers a couple of days earlier but unfortunately the pain had not subsided very much. It was much better after I passed the little bugger, although it took a couple of days before I really started feeling better. Here’s the bastard that caused all of the pain.


I also lost about 15 pounds during the ordeal and while that was kind of nice, I wouldn’t recommend this weight loss plan to anyone. Oh yeah, and anyone who thinks I’m being a pussy about such a little stone, all I can say is that before you judge go find a little rock and try shoving that thing up into the head of your penis before you open your fucking mouth.

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