• News Links 25.04.2011 No Comments

    Shawn Batie

    At 4:00 am on Friday, April 23rd Lodi, CA police found themselves faced with a man wearing only an Oakland Raiders jacket, lacey g-string panties, socks and scrunchie around his genitals.  The man, Shawn Batie (42) appeared to be under the influence of methamphetamines.  I certainly hope he was under the influence of something… and doesn’t make a habit of running around half naked and talking to himself, but these days you just never know.

     
    Anyhow, when officers arrived Batie was standing in the dirt next to a cemetery with a flashlight and yelling into the dark, wearing the above mentioned attire.  The officers said Batie was very jittery and his pupils were dilated.  He was taken in under suspicion of being under the influence, which was confirmed at the jail.  He was also found to be a parolee at large.

     

    When questioned regarding the where-a-bouts of his pants, he said “they must have been taken.”  Really…. surely that was the case!  How these officers remained composed dealing with this asswipe is beyond me, they are better people than me.

     

    Once in his cell, he promptly defecated and painted a self portrait on the walls, using his shit.  When given towels to clean up his artwork, he instead opted to clog the toilet.  He was then moved to a safety cell.

     

    Batie was arrested for being under the influence of narcotics and being a parolee at large.

     

     

     

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  • News Links 25.04.2011 No Comments

    Arlina Romero

     

    Deputies woman hid crack pipe in vagina

    On April 19th, undercover narcotics agents working a sting in Punta Gorda, FL arrested Arlina Romero (28).  According to reports Romero, recognized from previous drug dealings, walked out of a known drug house.  As she was approached by deputies she turned and began to take off, in an attempt to run.

    She appeared to be trying to hide something in the crotch area of her pants.  The report states she had her hands deep inside the front of her jeans and was clearly trying to hide something.  When the deputy called out to her she removed her hands from her pants and turned around.

     
    Romero consented to a search found, was a credit card, that belonged to someone else, she claimed she found and nothing else.  Not knowing whether she had found the card or it was stolen; Romero was escorted to the police station.  There she was asked if there was anything else hidden on her.

     
    Romero confessed she had a crack pipe hidden in her vagina.  Yuck!  After the confession she was taken, by female deputies, into a private room where a 6-inch glass pipe was removed from her vagina.  The pipe later tested positive for cocaine.

     
    While having the crack pipe removed from her va-jay-jay, the police contacted the owner of the credit card, who informed them, the card had been lost and Romero should not have it.  I bet you didn’t see that comin’ did ya?  Sure you did this is a woman who hides shit in her snatch of course she had a “lost” credit card.

     
    Romero was arrested for Possession of a Controlled Substance and Possession of Paraphernalia.  She is being held without bond, as she was already out on bond from prior drug charge and she is a convicted felon.

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  • News Links 19.04.2011 No Comments

    kristiehammonds

    39-year-old Kristen Hammonds, an administrative assistant at Villa Rica High School in Villa Rica, Georgia,  has been accused of having sex with at least three male students. Detectives from the Carroll County Sheriff’s Office stated that the kids were coming over to her house under the guise of having them meet her children. The alleged sexual assault was reported to the county office, who in turn informed the Villa Rica PD, who then turned it over to the county sheriff.

    According to police the sex was consensual and the kids were all over the age of 17 (one of the students was 19) which would have made it legal except for her position of authority over them which under state law makes it sexual assault.

    Kristie Hammonds was denied bond earlier today after police told the court that she had made contact with one of the alleged victims Monday night and Tuesday morning.

    Hammonds’ lawyer, Mac Pilgrim, told reporters that her husband kicked her out after the allegations surfaced. He also stated that she had been improperly charged. “Mrs. Hammons was a secretary. She never had a position of authority. She was not in a position to do any sort of disciplinary action. Her job description for the school has no disciplinary or authoritative responsibility.” Legal mumbo-jumbo as far as I am concerned but he does have a valid point. Regardless of the fact that she meted out discipline even though her official job description doesn’t call for it, Kristie Hammonds was also a cheerleading coach. COACH, which means that she was in charge of at least a segment of the student population. Hell, sleeping with your students is just poor fucking decision making anyway, regardless their ages.

    Newstalk 1160 reports that she admitted to having had sex with at least one of the students to the county office. Hammonds has resigned from the county.

    Hammonds Facebook account has been deleted and her MySpace set to private.

    Updated 4/25/11 – According to WSB one of the teens has possibly recanted his story. Not much more information than that right now.

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  • News Links 13.04.2011 No Comments

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    Father and son charged in alleged gang rape

    Nothing says father and son bonding like a little drinking and sexual assault. Meet Clinton Johnson Sr. (53) and Clinton “Bubba” Johnson Jr. (17), two of six “men” accused of sexually assaulting a 16-year-old girl at a party at their home on March 5th.

    According to reports the victim was attending a party at the Johnson home on March 5th. She admits that she had been drinking and was told by Bubba Johnson to lay down on a mattress in the back yard. Well shit, how convenient there just happened to be a mattress right there in the backyard, just incase a female comes by, drinks to much and needs a rest. Anyhow, she took Bubba’s caring advise and opted to lay down, but all he was caring about was the fact he had himself a drunk girlie and needed to get his rocks off. He reportedly began to sexually assault her, along with his younger brother and another male, wait… his younger brother got in on the action too. She asked the men to stop but they continued the assault not only with their own tiny weenie pee-pees, but a bottle as well. When Bubba and brother Johnson were done they apparently decided to share her with others in attendance and good ole’ dad. WTF?? The whole nasty thing was brought to light on March 25th, when the girl cried out to a counselor at her high school.

    Johnson Sr. and Jr. are the only two currently charged. According to police they expect other arrests, although the others involved are likely juveniles.

    As of April 12th, Johnson Jr. was being held on $100,000 bond and Sr. was being held on $150,000 bond. Both face life in prison if convicted of the first-degree felony.

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  • News Links 11.04.2011 No Comments

    Have you ever wondered why A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, G, and H are the letters used to define bra sizes?

    If you have wondered why but couldn’t figure out what the letters stood for, it is about time you became informed!

    {A} Almost?
    {B} Barely.
    {C} Can’t Complain.
    {D} Dayum!
    {DD} Double dayum!
    {E} Enormous!
    {F} Fake.
    {G} Get a Reduction.
    {H} Help me, I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!!!.

    Just Sayin’

    Found someplace on te interwebs.

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