Killing Time?

Killing Time

Killing Time…


I’ve spent most of the day on edge and that almost came to a fruition around two this afternoon when I thought I would be forced to rip a customer’s fucking windpipe out of his throat. Then someone else would get to blog about me being on trial. How’s that for a laugh?

I wonder if the nicotine withdrawal defense has ever been used…

Anyway, my store that is closest to the house is the one I opened back in October of 2006. Man, time flies.

I took it back, along with another one close by, two weeks ago and I have inherited a few folks that probably should not be working there. Pieces of crap in other words. The day shift is the same on I picked and hired back when we opened but there are some new faces on the evening shift. One of them is this gentleman that runs his mouth so much that if he shut the hell up and moved his arms and legs a bit he might be able to get something done.

From two until four we only have one waitress on the floor because it’s generally slow. Today I was closing out my paperwork so that I could leave and I look up out the office window. She’s trying to wait on customers and cook at the same time. Where’s the cook? Sitting at the fucking high counter jacking his jaws with a customer.

It’s not the first time I’ve gotten onto the kid about doing his work so I just leaned out the door and hollered his name, and told him that the unnamed waitress had customers to wait on so he needed to cook. I left it at that but it was pretty fucking clear what I wanted. I might have been a bit nicer about it but she had already called for his help once while he just blithely ignored her.

A couple of minutes later the asked me to come out front. The customer wanted to speak with me. I was behind one of the booths and he was on the other side. He says to me in a low tone of voice “Maybe you weren’t aware of the fact but he was discussing something very serious with me. Perhaps you need to learn not to publicly chastise people. I can make a world of shit for you. You just don’t know how much. I used to be a district manager with [your company]”.

I was fucking flabbergasted. I let the dude know in no uncertain terms that this wasn’t the first time it’s happened and that they needed to take care of their pressing business off my clock. I think once he realized that I didn’t give a flying fuck about his unshaven scrawny out of work ex-district manager self he decided to get polite with me and shut the fuck up. That or maybe it was the look that came over me like I was getting ready to jump over the booth and cold-cock the bastard. This just would not be the week to fuck with me.

Anyway, I was nice and polite with the guy, so let his ass complain. I’ve been with them for 21 years and been investigated for embezzlement, racism, favoritism, fucking my waitresses, firing people with undue cause. I’ve been robbed, threatened by people with knives, broken up fights and cleaned up shit from places you wouldn’t believe. Bring it on you stupid fucker.

What really flew all over me was his criticizing the fact that I hollered for the dude to get back on the grill. What the fuck does he know about managing people since he obviously doesn’t do it anymore. Of course you don’t normally say negative things to people in front of other people, but instructing them as to where they need to be IS one of them, particularly when they haven’t been listening to any other way. I hate public embarrassment but that’s all some people will react to, particularly if they are self-aggrandizing lying sacks of shit in the first place.

Did I tell you I want a cigarette?

Would a nice big stogie count?

I had two today. Best day yet. I smoked one at eight or nine and then another one around eleven and that’s it. I even refrained from bumming a smoke from one of them when I had to go back to shift change a little while ago, but I did make my trip as short as possible.

This has got to be the hardest fucking thing I have ever done in my life. I am eating so much candy I will need to go to lard watchers by the time all is said and done. If given a choice between dying because I’m fat and dying because I smoke, I would rather be skinny.

What do you do with your hands when you don’t smoke?

I can only jerk off to Internet porn so much before the damn thing starts hurting. I suppose that’s why they have fluff girls at the porn movies. Maybe I need to get one to hide under my desk…


We all gotta dream right?

I’ll tell you one thing. This Chantix shit really works. I’ve tried the patch, gum, lozenges, wellbutrin, all that crap and smoked right along with all of it. I’ve tried to cut down to the point where I could quit and always ended up lying and smoking more than I said.

I’ve smoked two to three packs a day for 28 years. Used to smoke Pall Malls, then Winstons, finally switched to Winston Lights a few years ago. That’s 408,800 cigarettes at just two packs a day. I don’t care what anyone says, it’s not something you can just give up if you smoke as much as I do. This stuff has really helped. I had two day and tomorrow if I smoke at all it will only be one and then I’m done.

Unless of course I get convicted of ripping someone’s head off and then who gives a fuck if I’m smoking or not.

2 throughts on "Killing Time?"

  1. I remember hearing about this Canadian dude who went to see his doctor because his dick had turned bright orange.

    “Well, this is unusual.” says the doc. “Have there been any major changes in your life lately?”

    The dude answers, “I lost my job about three weeks ago, but other than that, nothing.”

    “So what have you been doing with yourself?”

    “Well, mostly, I eat Chee-Tos and jack off to Internet porn…”

  2. Can’t stop laughing. I managed to see your comment via email on my crackberry whike I was driving. Not the best of places to go into a fit of laughter…

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.