Back when I was 18 or so there was a saying that went something like “18 to 80 Blind Cripple or Crazy”. Boiled down for those of you that might actually be innocent to have never heard the mantra it means that as long as you had a pulse (and that was optional) I would hit it. Sometimes twice just to make sure. When you’re 18 that’s fine but christ, sometimes you just have to grow up. Apparently Richard Bowman must have missed that class. There’s another saying. A good dog doesn’t shit where he sleeps (I’m just fulla redneck sayings. stick around). He missed that day as well.
So what are the fine specimens of humanity pictured above doing here rather than Bowman? I think you’ll get it shortly…
46-year-old Lisa W. Johnson and Richard Bowman have been living together for about a year or so but she recently had to spend some quality time in the crossbar motel. Well, what’s a fella to do when he wants to get some? A little strange, perhaps? Bowman started playing hide the salami with Johnson’s 25-year-old daughter, Jessica Marie Fixl. Johnson got out of jail a couple of weeks ago and moved back in with her daughter and her man, at which point he started sleeping with both of them (ewww.)
Friday Eustis, Florida (but you knew that already) police responded to their home on a domestic disturbance call. The two were arguing and explained to police that they were both sleeping with Bowman. Officers responding to the call thought that Johnson appeared intoxicated and told her to go to sleep and left.
Twenty minutes later they had to turn around and go right back to the house because the altercation had gotten physical. According to Johnson she went to bed as the officers had instructed and was awakened when her daughter “struck her with a closed fist on the forehead because she was jealous” but a child in the house have a conflicting statement to that. According to the witness she entered Bowman’s room, grabbed his nuts and wouldn’t let go. At one point she told him she was going to rip them off (ouch!). The witness went and got Fixl who went in and decked her mother. You can see the cut on her forehead where Fixl punched her wearing a ring.
Both of the women already have existing criminal records so when they were arrested Johnson was charged with felony domestic battery on Bowman and Fixl was charged with domestic battery on her mother.
The booking photo above is from Jessica’s arrest for simple battery in 2007. The Orlando Sentinel lists a 2008 felony conviction, I don’t know if it was for this arrest or not.
Dang, but if I were going to get tag-teamed by a mother-daughter duo I think I would pick someone that didn’t look like they had just jumped out of the fucking microwave.