When I was about 18 or so, I had moved back in with my parents for a few months. Since I had no car, I went on foot, or on the bus. We lived just sout of Peachtree Battle in Atlanta, right behind Benihanas (for those who are familiar with the area). One evening, a couple of freinds of mine decided to come pick me up so that we could hang out. We decided to stop at the Burger King right up the road. We sat at the drive-thru forever, then it took like another five minutes to get the damn food. I was getting ready as my friend was paying. Right as we pulled out, I shot a bit spitball from my straw, through the window, right into the motherfuckers ear. I know, very stupid, but I couldn’t stop laughing. Hell, I am chuckling about it now.

We went to pull out and the dumbass JUMPED out of the fucking drivethru window and started to give chase on foot. By this time I couldn’t breathe we were laughing so hard. We pulled out and took a right on Peachtree, went about a quarter mile up to a red light and pulled up next to a cop. five or six seconds passed and this fucking car whips around the cop and stops caddy-cornered in front of the officer, jumps out and starts shouting and pointing at us. That was about the time that I started wanting to shit my pants. The Officer had us all go back to the Burger King parking lot and he went inside with the Middle Eastern Gentleman (back then I was moron enough to use other terms).

About five minutes later he comes out and tells me that the Manager wanted to press charges of assault (for a fucking spitball), but if I would come inside and apologize to him in front of his employees, he would let me go. I don’t know if he really could have filed charges or not, but I was young and dumb, and scared shitless (and laughing my fucking ass off at the same time). I went inside and it was all I could do to not bust out laughing when I said “I am sorry that I shot a spitball in your ear”. Most of his employees were also laughing (possibly at me, but I don’t think so), so that made it that much harder.

I laughed about it for weeks. Hell, my humor is still so low I think it is fucking hilarious.

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