Have you ever gone outside to have a smoke, and taken your pocket PC with you because you just couldn’t stop playing that stupid fucking bejeweled? And while you were out there, sitting in the dark on your front steps in your blue jeans with no shirt or shoes a goddamn tree roach dropped down the back of your pants and started doing the tango on your butt cheeks? So you were hopping around on one leg with one hand down your pants and trying not to drop the damn ipaq out of the other, finally the fucker comes down out the bottom of your leg? If you ever have the opportunity, relish the experience, because the people that live across the street certainly will.

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