I mentioned that I might post about my cook, and why he is on probation. I think that I shall do so today.

I inherited most of my associates from the previous manager when I tookthe store in ’93. I probably would not have hired most of them myself, but you do with what you have sometimes.

I used to have this college girl that worked my 2nd shift. She was pretty and personable on the outside, but like most women, her head was full of fucking snakes. She fucked anything that moved. I know that she pretty blatantly offered on several occasions, but I learned a long time ago to just act like I don’t even notice, and eventually they go away.

It took about a year or so, but after having slept with most of my other cooks, and probably some of the customers, she and my 1st shift cook hooked up and started dating. Of course she was still sleeping around, but that didn’t seem to bother him much, that or he is just fucking stupid. Maybe a combination of both.

A little over a year ago I got a new manager trainee (for some strange reason they keep sticking me with the job of training new managers). He is a pretty nice guy. He was there for maybe a month or so before he nailed this waitress that my cook was dating. Needless to say, this made for a coupple of interesting encounters. Eventually it got to the point where she was with the manager more than her boyfriend, so he shows up at the trainees house one night, probably geeked up on something, and proceeds to beat the crap out of the guy. Broke several ribs, even broke his own hand. Should have used a baseball bat.

He gets to spend a couple of days in jail, the trainee spends the day at the hospital. Another day in fucking paradise. In a perfect world, I would have fired the waitress, and the manager trainee. The cook didn’t really do anything wrong as far as his job was concerned since all of this happened off site. We do have fraternization rules which had been explained at length to the trainee, so he was perfectly aware that just by seeing the waitress, he was violating company policy.

I ended up letting the waitress transfer to another store so she could find some new guys to fuck. She moved in with the manager trainee (and works for him now that he has his own store). I kept my cook, but of course he ended up on probation due to all of this. Now he is spending some quality time with the rest of the crack-heads in Carroll County jail on a probation hold.

I will probably suck it up and just cook his shifts for a month or so, which is when he goes back to court. If they don’t let him out in April, it will be June, and I am going to replace his ass long before then. It’s not that I mind cooking his shifts, but I am basically lazy and don’t feel like I should have to work that damn hard after 19 years.

More about the snake lady

My animal loving waitress also happens to have a house full of snakes. Not garden snakes and the like, but fucking poisonous snakes. Cobras, Rattle Snakes, and shit like that. Her “old man” known as Snake Man. No shit. They raise snakes and handle snakes. Sell them to the whacked out Baptists and shit. Today her complaint is with our insurance and the fact that they won’t pay for Ambien or soemthing like that, so she can’t sleep. Hell, with a bunch of fucking snakes in the house and dogs that kill each other I couldn’t sleep either, especially thinking about that upcoming patchouli smell in the next couple of months. They are both actually pretty nice people, but damn. I just don’t know some days. I though that I was pretty fucked up growing up, but nowadays I think that my folks did a pretty good job.

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