So about a year ago I quit shaving my head on a regular basis due to popular request here at the house of skullfuckin and I started going to a local salon to let the ladies cut my hair. They usually do a pretty decent job at it too.
I stopped by Scissorhands the week of Christmas to get my normal trim. The hair has been getting a bit shaggy lately and even with the extending forehead my hair still grows at a tremendous rate.
Just not all over.
Anyway, the girl that was there either didn’t understand what I wanted or was just tired and I wasn’t paying attention. I keep it very short on the sides and back and a bit longer on the top. When I got home we noticed that it was longer on the back than the sides. Sort of like a retarded mullet or mohawk. Not only that but the back wasn’t even either. The left side was slightly longer than the right.
I dealt with it for a couple of days and it was Monday before I had any time to spare. By the time I made it over there they had already closed, dangit.
I chose the next best solution and asked the wife to just buzz the shit, which she gladly did (with a bit of glee in her eyes as a matter of fact). All went well except for the part about shaving OBAMA into my pubic regions. That’s where I draw the fucking line. Oh, yeah. I forgot about that part didn’t I?
I hate getting all of that hair on me and always hop right into the shower after I shave my head. It’s worse when all that crap gets all over my clothes and stuff, so when we went in I stripped and got a nekked haircut. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
My kids have some sort of radar for where we are. Neither the wife or myself can leave the room for more than 3.5 minutes without a child looking for us. For what you ask? It doesn’t fucking matter. They just want to know where we are. The Marine is no different. Almost 21, been in the Corps for two and a half years but damn if you leave the room, he’s sure to follow shortly after.
You see where this is going now?
About halfway through the haircut in walks the Marine, who says “Oh Wow” and beats a hasty retreat due to the magnificence. Either that or the pasty white of my ass cheeks scared the bejeesus out of him.
It was quite a while before the wife and I could stop laughing and continue the haircut but damn it sure was worth it. One more year of counseling for the children…

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