Goddammit Jim, I’m a Doctor, Not a Mechanic!!

I pretty much hate working on cars. I can do it if I have to, and if I have directions for anything more difficult than changing the oil filter. Yesterday the positive battery terminal on the Neon broke off. Goddam acid buildup. It’s the 2nd battery, going on 186k miles, so I can’t complain too much. The entire harness would have been $92 so we opted to just get the terminal itself for $9, which is about three times the cost of a fucking universal. Just changed it out, with no injury, to boot. Anytime I do something to a car without injuring myself, I consider it a good day. I’ve fucked up my fingers, had a couple of hospital visits for metal flakes in my eye, etc. The list goes on and on. I don’t even change my fucking oil anymore. At $24 a pop, it’s worth it to help someone else pay their bills by letting them do the nasty job. Not to mention that if I do it I have to sneak out at night to get rid of the old stuff down the sewer drain or someone else’s gas tank.

I did recently replace the water pump and fan belt on the van. Actually, I drank beer and fetched tools while my neighbor replaced them. Occasionally I would hold something in place for him. Damn, that was a pain in the ass. In exchange though, I have done plenty of computer work for him. I guess it all evens out in the end.


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