A bugs life

As I got in my car to come home from work this evening, I noticed a bug on my windshield. Either a tree roach or some kind of beatle, I’m not sure. I figured that once I got on the road the wind would blow it off, but I was wrong. The bug remained on my windshield the entire way, little buggy anntena pushed back by the wind. It was right in that spot on the left side where it rode the yellow line the entire trip home, so I watched it most of the way. When I would stop it would move a bit, but once I got to moving again, it never budged. 15 miles to my house it rode. A lifetime of crawling for the little bug. Getting close to my house I am sure it was happy in it’s little buggy heart that it was going to a new place, to make a home where it had never been before. At least until I crushed the fucker with my windshield wipers.


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  • Another victim said:
    I don’t think the gay community wants to throw it’s support behind John Marshall…why would they? Sure, he’s a gay white male; but he’s also a serial child molester, who’s now sexually assaulting other gay men. This would not be a good poster boy for gay men.
    Mostly, because the gay community and pro-gay community disavows itself from any connection, whatsoever, between gay men, even self admitted gay men who are also child molesters who molest only boys. Is it possible that a percentage of gay pedophiles that only molest male children are in fact “deviant gay”? Could this deviant sexual abuse of male children by males, some gay, cause the victims to question their sexuality to such a level that they become gay, their sexuality in effect being chosen by the action of the pedophile and the molestation effects and how their physical arousal, emotional and psychological experience about the abuse confuses the development of their entire personality and sexual identity. To tough to consider in the politically correct culture? This admission might connect these deviant gay men to deviant pedophile behavior, and they claim there is No Connection. But when confronted with this possible fact, the gay community(politically correct media, pro-gay researchers, Oprah, Ellen, Rosie O’Donnell, hosts of The View, etc…) like to point out that most child molesters are heterosexual to distance themselves from any scrutiny …they’re ok connecting heterosexual males to deviant sexual behavior with children; but never homosexuals to deviant sexual behavior with children. The gay community also denies that sexual identity, one being gay could be a learned behavior…it’s genetic, it’s in the DNA they profess.
    But is it? Let’s look at John Marshall and his many male victims, including myself. John has always stated that he’s gay, and anyone who knows him knows this is true. His victims were always young male children and now male, gay adults. When he molests a male child under the age of 10, and molests him into his adolescent years what does that do the child’s normal development, sexual development and identity? The child’s first sexual encounter, first physical and psychological arousal and pleasure is associated with a same sex experience. All the child knows is I was chosen by John, for a same sex experience… my body and mind responded and experienced intense pleasure. I trusted John, he befriended me and thinking he would not hurt me…psychologically I trusted the relationiship initially. If John persuaded me to bring him the same pleasure, it might have caused me pleasure at the same time. Now my only knowledge and experience of sexual pleasure and my sexual development was same-sex, which by most definition is labeled as homosexual(gay) and often then self-questioned and interpreted by the child as gay behavior. Am I gay? well a gay man chose me, we had same sex sexual behavior, it felt good, maybe he saw something in me, maybe I’m gay, my friends will think I’m gay if they find out…and if the child’s misperception of sexual identity is not corrected in therapy it could and often does lead to self identification with the same sex. It’s called social learning theory…when a person observes or in this case receives pleasure for a behavior they are more likely to model, imitate, and adopt the behavior themselves. When children observe domestic violence, they often identify with the abuser, whom they love and become an abuser. Kids of drug addicts, or criminals who observe these behaviors in their parents and see their parents who idolize the behaviors, often imitate and then become drug addicts, in this same way.
    Statistically, why do so many of female(and male) victims of child sexual abuse, usually by male perpetrators, later become prostitutes, or porn stars? Because they were used for their sexuality, they usually felt pleasure and observed the abuser receiving pleasure, and incorrectly internalized that all men just want sexual pleasure, what they have no other value; and they were used, and wanted.. not for who they are or their intrinsic value but the momentary pleasure they could bring to the perpetrator. They are replicating the molest with each act, feeling since they have nothing else to give but the impersonal act of sex with strangers.
    And statistically, they found that 25% of male and female children are sexually molested sometime before age 18. If most molesters are male, then most of the male child victims are being molested by males. More male victims do not disclose, out of shame, and fear peers will identify them as gay…so they suffer silently struggling with sexual identity confusion issues, and many then continue the only sexual relationship they have ever known, and pursue gay relationships, or label themselves bi-sexual, which has become a fad in the high schools thanks to the pro-gay clubs(Gay Straight Alliance Networks) and pro-gay agenda on most campuses. These victims are not gays, born that way, their sexuality was not determined genetically…it was shaped, modeled and encouraged by their ongoing sexual abuse by the male pedophile. And this confusion only further engrained by the society and culture that now espouses the falsehood that if your gay, you were born that way and cannot change.
    Thousands, or tens of thousands of these child male sex abuse victims by males pedophiles(gay and non-gay) who might chose to copy the gay lifestyle they were introduced into and are now imitating homosexual behavior are doing so according to social learning theory.
    I went through this identity confusion; however, I never repeated the same sex behavior, have never been aroused by a man and got great counseling and have never doubted that I’m heterosexual, and have always been.
    The good news is that the majority of the male victims that receive good counseling, understanding support and learn it was not their fault, that they were not made gay from the early sexual abuse and that any child would feel sexual pleasure from any person stimulating them will come out less traumatized and transition into heterosexuality. The others, could have been born gay, I guess…but I’ve never seen any conclusive research that has found the “gay gene”. It’s mostly research done to prove a point.
    Other victims…keep coming forward and contact the Redondo Beach Police Departme

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