Oh hi. How ya doin’? Mr. Fabulous here. Richard asked me to keep an eye on things while he is
putting together the final pieces in his diabolical plan to achieve world domination on vacation.
I’m pretty busy, so my first inclination was to politely decline. But Richard strikes me as the kind of guy who doesn’t take “no” for an answer. Plus in every photo I’ve seen of him he looks like he could kick my pasty white ass and not even break a sweat.
I couldn’t agree fast enough.
So I really think it was out of line for Richard to kidnap Mrs. Fab and keep her imprisoned in his secret mountain fortress as insurance that I would indeed guest post. Whatever happened to taking a man at his word?
Hang in there honey, you’ll be home soon.
At first glance Richard and I don’t seem to have much in common. He can be pretty political, he sometimes writes about serious stuff, and you always know where he stands. I, on the other hand, like to sit in the backyard and tickle my toes.
But if you dig a little deeper you will see that Richard and I are actually quite a bit alike. We both love South African gay porn. We both love the vocal stylings of Tony Orlando and Dawn. And we both love to pour Jim Beam on our morning Wheaties.
Plus we are both charter members of the Hello Kitty Fan Club.
Okay, I posted. You can let her go, Richard. Richard?