A Survey

Found this by way of Memphis Steve

1. Were you named after anyone?
Yes, my two grandfathers.

2. When was the last time you cried?
The last time I sat down to watch a damned sappy movie..

3. Do you like your handwriting?
I write painstakingly slow so that it is legible. Mostly I type now.

4. What is your favorite lunch meat?
Taco or the elusive bearded clam.

5. Do you have kids?
Other than the ones that I post pictures of? Anything is possible.

6. If you were another person would you be friends with you?
Yes. I would probably want to have sex with me as well.

7. Do you use sarcasm a lot?
Never. Maybe a little.

8. Do you still have your tonsils?

9. Would you bungee jump?
Would you let me rip out your scrotum? I don’t even like to get on airplanes so why the fuck would I jump off a perfectly good bridge?

10. What is your favorite cereal?
Crunchberries and beer.

11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off?

12. Do you think you are strong?
More quick than strong.

13. What is your favorite ice cream?

14. What is the first thing you notice about people?

15. Pink or red?
It doesn’t turn red until it’s been used for awhile and then it’s sort of a purply color.

16. What is the least favorite thing about yourself?
I am too nice at work.

17. Who do you miss the most?
My two best friends in the world. One of them is worm dirt and I haven’t heard from the other since I got married.

18. Do you want everyone to send this back to you?
Not particularly. Just killing time right now

19. What color pants and shoes are you wearing?
Right now I am wearing khaki shorts, no underwear, no shoes. I just rode home from work in 90+ degrees with no air in the car.

20. What was the last thing you ate?
Double Cheeseburger and hashbrowns. What the fuck do you expect, I run three restaurants.

21. What are you listening to right now?
The clicking of my keyboard.

22. If you were a crayon, what color would you be?

23. Favorite smells?
Is bearded clam a smell? No? My ass I suppose.

24. Who was the last person you talked to on the phone?
My wife who is swimming with the girls.

25. Do you like the person who sent this to you?
I stole it! He seems OK.

26. Favorite sports to watch?
The lights fighting behind my eyeballs or quite possibly waitress boxing. If you remember, I had to fire a couple of them for duking it out last month.

27. Eye Color
You color what?

28. Do you wear contacts?

29. Favorite food?

30. Scary movies or happing endings?
Scary movies. I enjoy watching horror flicks because once you see the tits you know she’s gonna die.

31. Last movie you watched?
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix.

32. What color shirt are you wearing?
Flesh colored. Don’t get all hot and bothered, it’s more of a pasty sort of hairy flesh color.

33. Summer or winter?
Winter in some warm place.

34. Hugs or kisses?
I prefer head. Skip the foreplay.

35. Favorite dessert?
Banana Pudding.

36. Most likely to respond?
Not a damn soul, although if I were actually going to send this out Chickie would probably do it. Consider yourself fucking memed already.

37. Least likely to respond?
Most everyone else hates these as much as I do, particularly with so many irritating questions.

38. What book are you reading now?
Trouble Magnet

39. What is on your mouse pad?
Underneath the coffee spills and dried up spew? A blue wave.

40. What did you watch on TV last night?
Burn Notice

41. Favorite sound?
My own farts

42. Rolling stones or Beatles?

43. What is the furthest you have been from home?
Southern California.

44. Do you have a special talent?
I have a drinking disorder. I drink 8 or 10 beers, throw them back up and drink some more.

45. Where were you born?
Georgia Baptist Hospital.

46. Whose answers are you looking forward to getting back?
Everyones. Send me a track-back or comment if you dare take me up on this meme.