What The Heck Is That?

That was the question I asked myself about mid-morning.

I had gone into the men’s room to take a dump and lying there on the bathroom floor was a single solitary little turd all in a lump looking like a piece of chocolate someone had dropped to the floor on their way out. It was lying about halfway between the sink and the toilet.

What exactly were they doing that caused the turd to hit the floor three feet from the toilet? There might be a few explanations I suppose.

1. He had his head stuck in the toilet snacking and his ass pointed the other way.

2. He couldn’t decide what was more important. Wash Hands. Shit. Wash Hands. Shit. Wash Hands. Shit. SHIT!

3. Something like an alligator or a turd burglar was hiding in the toilet lying in wait and bit him on the ass just as it was peeking out.

4. He ate jumping beans for breakfast and it hopped out of the toilet because he forgot to flush.

5. It was really the new millennium replacement for Pet Rocks and toys of that ilk, the Bile Ball!

 

Not that I go around crapping on other people’s floors too often but I would think that if I let one slip out on to the floor I would feel the need to clean up my fecal matter just in case someone was in line right after me. How embarrassing would it be for the next guy to stick his head out the door as you were going back out into the dining area “Hey Buddy! You left your turd on the floor!”

Needless to say my immediate need to go went away rather quickly and after having cleaned the restrooms I had to go disinfect myself in fear that I might catch something nasty.

20 throughts on "What The Heck Is That?"

  1. Thank you for my freedom.
    Dear Morgan, thank you. It is not my best poem, but it is for you and all the others. Keep the faith, my dear friend. We do apreciate you so very deeply. Our prayers are with you, and ‘O’ and Maniac. Also your teams. Take care on this and every day. God bless you, and God bless America. In Jesus’ precious name. Amen.
    (P.S. I am forbidden again. 😉 )

  2. A Hillary round up, with cartoons

    Hillary has had a tough week.  Falling poll numbers, falling flags and more importantly a loss of her sense of invulnerability.  For weeks her attitude and that of many has been that she is the inevitable candidate.  Now suddenly she is …

  3. Did You Expect The Jena Six Legal Fund To Pay Legal Costs?

    I had hoped, but I didn’t expect this:
    Just weeks after some 20,000 demonstrators protested what they decried as unequal justice aimed at six black teenagers in the Louisiana town of Jena, controversy is growing over the accounting and disbursing…

  4. It’s All My Fault, and I’m Sorry

    On the front page of today’s Drudge Report you can find the following little item about the upcoming Democrat debate. CNN’s Wolf Blitzer has been warned not to focus Thursday’s Dem debate on Hillary. ‘This campaign is about issues, not…

  5. Why is the Media Good to Hillary?

    When a politician is named Clinton he can usually be assured of good press, or no press at all if there is something bad going on. The same press that can’t wait to run to press with our nation’s secrets is much more respecting of the wishes of the Cl…

  6. State of Georgia turns to God

    Out of answers and out of water, the Governor of Georgia, Sonny Perdue called for public prayer today to ask our Heavenly Father for much needed rain for his state.
    As Georgia descends deeper into drought, Gov. Sonny Perdue has ordered water restrictio…

  7. A Christmas Carol Charles Dickens

    A Christmas Carol in Prose, Being a Ghost Story of Christmas was first published in 1843. The story met with instant success, selling six thousand copies within a week. Originally written as a potboiler to enable Dickens to pay off a debt, the tale h…

  8. Those Wacky Iranians Get Their Gay On

    Yes, it seems that once again, the Iranians are telling us exactly what they believe. Will the Left listen, or just chalk it up to a misunderstand, as when Mahmoud said he wanted to wipe Israel off the map?
    Homosexuals deserve to be executed or torture…

  9. U.S. prosecutors: Illegal immigrant worked for FBI, CIA, stole info

    And that’s not all:
    The sister-in-law of the indicted fugitive owner of the La Shish restaurant chain got sensitive jobs at the FBI and CIA, despite being an illegal immigrant, federal prosecutors said in court documents unsealed today in Detroit…

  10. The Difference Between Jews and Muslims

    Therefore there should be prizes for innovative techniques for Sex with Goats, How to Molest female infants, the theory and practise of honor killing of wives and daughters and the efficient slaughtering of innocent infidels and even fellow Muslims.

  11. Kayne West’s Mother Dead after Cosmetic Surgery

    Donda West, 58, died Saturday at Centinela Freeman Regional Medical Center in Marina del Rey after she stopped breathing at her home. The coroner’s office said an initial investigation shows West may have died from surgical complications. An autopsy …

  12. That’s just fucking nasty.

    Not only that but the norovirus is one of the leading causes of food poisoning and is mostly spread by humans and flies. It is carried in feces.

Leave a Reply to Karen Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.