So this dude works at the pickle factory.
He comes home from work one day and tells his wife “I want to put my dick in the pickle slicer”
Thinking this was pretty damn weird she asks him to go to a sex therapist.
Being embarrassed he refuses.
He comes home from work one day a few weeks later with a very dejected look on his face.
His wife asks him what was wrong.
“I stuck my dick in the pickle slicer”
“What happened?”
“They fired me”
“…no…I mean with the pickle slicer”
I was just reading about this pretty cool damned device at CNN. Basically it projects a noise similar to the ringtones that can be downloaded that only teens can hear but this noise is extremely grating on the nerves. Kids and animals can hear it but for whatever reason it is really only painful to those around 12 or older up until the early twenties. I find it kind of interesting that the mainstream media is just now picking up on this, at least CNN and the AP. Gizmodo and Ubergizmo had a post up on this gadget almost three months ago.
I’ve already been through one teenager. If I install this fucker in my basement the kids will run away when they are 12 and won’t come back until they are adults. Sweet!
In all seriousness, I can see where this would be good to have. Private property, bars and other adult establishments, anywhere that kids loiter and get into trouble, etc.
There has been a public outcry in some places with people saying it violates their civil liberties. Expect the ACLU to get involved with their socialist nonsense before too long. Right now they say they don’t have a position on the issue. Really as long as you are using it to keep people off of private property it does nothing to violate their rights anyway, it just protects the rights of the property owners.
There are apparently some schools that have installed them as well in order to keep the crowds from gathering after football games and such.
You can get to the product page here.
Somehow I missed this amidst the several hundred emails Monday morning and didn’t get this posted. I really need to sit down and go through my inbox with the delete button. Anyhow, on with this weeks post!
This has been the Blogs For Borders Video Blogburst. The Blogs For Borders Blogroll is dedicated to American sovereignty, border security and a sane immigration policy. If you’d like to join find out how right here.
Technorati Tags: illegal immigration; open borders; invasion; mexico; rape; hit and run; dui; dwi; jobs americans won’t do; amnesty; barack obama; john mccain; hillary clinton; crazy; marcus lassiter; deportation joke
Wednesday must be meme day or something because there seem to several that I participate in on Wednesdays. When I remember anyway.
This week’s post for ABC Wednesday is brought to you by the letter “N”. What’s “N” for? N is for Nassau because the trip is still fresh in my mind and I am ready to go back to the Caribbean and hang for awhile.
I took this shot on Potter’s Cay. We went down there specifically for the conch salad. It was one long hot walk from downtown. Next time we’re renting scooters or something.
I don’t particularly consider myself a good photographer but occasionally everyone gets lucky. I really like that shot.
This one sort of shows the old and the new. That is a shot of Potter’s Cay and behind it you can see the Atlantis resort on Paradise Island. We never did make it over to Paradise Island. I thought it was senseless to go over to sight see at some damned hotel and go shopping when there was plenty to do right in Nassau with a lot more colorful people as well.
We had a wonderful weekend in the Bahamas and hopefully we can return again soon. I would like to go for longer but as long as it’s with the girls, going to the beach means going local to me. I just don’t see the sense of dragging them out of the country when they won’t even notice the difference.
I got this next one while we were wandering down one of the side streets downtown.
There was some old dude playing the organ for tips right around there as well…Ahh there he is. Took me a minute to find the picture. He had himself a nice sunny spot to play in and was having a pretty good time of it. Looks like he was set up for the long haul though.
This is the Straw Market. You seen one flea market you seen ’em all right?
Maybe, maybe not. They certainly had a ton of stuff at great duty free prices as well. There were probably 100 different “stalls” or “stores” but most of the stuff seemed to be the same. There was a pretty good choice of stuff to buy but after you’ve looked at a couple hundred shirts, hats and purses it’s time to move on to something else…
Like the Beach! This is Cable Beach, right outside of our hotel at 7a.m. or so on the day we were leaving.
If you want to jump in and participate in ABC Wednesday head over to Mrsnesbitt’s Place. This week’s is already up for your perusal over there.
Priest has got a new album out entitled Nostradamus. The title track is pretty good. The beginning of it sounds like something from the days of Stained Class or Sin After Sin and the rest of the song reminds me of the Ram it Down album. If the rest of the double album due out in June rocks like this does it’s going to kick some ass. Check out the song!
Here’s the Album Cover:
Think ‘Double vinyl, gatefold sleeve concept album,’ and some of rock’s all-time classic recordings come to mind. But in the realm of heavy metal, there has never been a double vinyl (now disc!) concept album that has managed to balance a thought-provoking storyline with metallic thunder. That was, until now. Metal legends JUDAS PRIEST will be releasing their sprawling double disc concept album, ‘Nostradamus’ via Columbia Records on Monday, June 16th in the UK/Europe, and a day later in the US on Epic Records.
Long in the works, ‘Nostradamus’ takes epic storytelling to a whole new level, as it recounts the life of this mysterious, world-known 16th Century French prophet. Some of the events that Nostradamus experts have interpreted as his predictions include the great fire of London in 1666, the rise of Adolf Hitler, and most recently, 9-11, among countless other renowned events.
“As in any concept piece, the lifeline needs to be of a solid source, taking the music over many levels of interest and perception,” points out singer Rob Halford. “Nostradamus’ contains new frontiers explored and defined. The sense of adventure and the journey we undertook bringing the man’s life alive with metal was a real labour of love.”
As with all new Priest releases, the group – singer Rob Halford, guitarists Glenn Tipton and K.K. Downing, bassist Ian Hill, and drummer Scott Travis – will embark on a mammoth worldwide tour in support of ‘Nostradamus.’ Priest will be performing at the 2008 Download Festival – on a bill also featuring Kiss – which will serve as a ‘homecoming’ of sorts for the group, as they performed at the first-ever ‘Monsters of Rock Festival’ at Donington Park in 1980.
Since 1974, Judas Priest has been one of heavy metal’s most successful bands, issuing such all-time classic albums as 1980’s ‘British Steel,’ 1982’s ‘Screaming for Vengeance,’ and 1990’s ‘Painkiller,’ and such arena-rocking anthems as “Breaking the Law,” “Living After Midnight,” and “You’ve Got Another Thing Comin’.” However, Priest’s influence goes far beyond their music – they were the first metal band to embrace the ‘leather biker look,’ a fashion that has since become synonymous with the musical genre. Additionally, Halford’s powerful four-and-a-half octave vocal range and the twin guitar harmonies of Downing and Tipton have been ‘studied’ by countless metal bands in Priest’s wake.
“The ‘Nostradamus’ album – above all others – is perhaps the one I’m most proud of,” says Tipton. “Whilst in essence and character still very much Judas Priest, it has afforded the opportunity to explore areas of classical and operatic dimensions that the band normally wouldn’t. As a guitarist and writer it has inspired me to greater heights and opened new doors to intrigue and passion. From start to finish, it will take you through a magical experience filled with light, shade, drama, melody and emotion that reflects this unique man and his life.”
“For me, ‘Nostradamus’ has been a musical journey without comparison,” adds Downing. “The intrigue and mystery that surrounds this revered man has expanded my perception of heavy metal to the highest plateau and enabled me to reach the outer limits of my imagination and transport unique feelings and emotions to the instrument that allows me to express myself.”
In addition to the regular jewel case double CD version of the album, collectors will undoubtedly be interested in hunting down a copy of a Deluxe Double CD housed in a 48 page hardbound book package. But that’s not all – a Super Deluxe Box-set version will also be available with triple vinyl, the double CD, an expanded booklet & a poster.
Most bands of this high stature would be happy to play it safe. But not Judas Priest, who continue to take chances and break new ground. No other rock band could have pulled off such a grand statement, and Judas Priest have raised the bar once more with ‘Nostradamus.’
As to why they chose to make a concept album about Nostradamus, Tipton explains: “We didn’t – he chose us. We feel it was meant to be!”
To get a taste of what awaits for you within ‘Nostradamus,’ go to livenation.com/judaspriest Monday, April 21st to download exclusive free mp3 of the album’s title track, as well as view the world premiere of the album cover art.
‘NOSTRADAMUS’ TRACK LISTING:
Dawn of Creation
PROPHECY
Awakening
REVELATIONS
The Four Horsemen
WAR
Sands of Time
PESTILENCE AND PLAGUE
DEATH
Peace
CONQUEST
LOST LOVE
PERSECUTION
Solitude
EXILED
ALONE
Shadows In the Flame
VISIONS
Hope
NEW BEGINNINGS
Calm Before The Storm
NOSTRADAMUS
FUTURE OF MANKIND
I’m pretty psyched about the new album and can’t wait until it’s release. Hopefully like the last Priest album this one will sell on iTunes. It’s easier for me to purchase it there and then just burn the CD myself.
So I was thinking about some places I want to go on vacation in the future and immediately England, Wales and Ireland came to mind. Sort of weird for a person afraid of flying as I am but there you go. Regardless of how I feel about flying I still want to go check out several places including Dublin, Edinburgh, Glasgow and Liverpool.
One of my favorite radio shows is the Clark Howard show. I haven’t listened to it in quite some time since I’m not commuting any more but I always used to listen to it for both the consumer information as well as the vacation deals. I am not quite as cheap anymore when I book our vacations, otherwise we would have been staying in some dive when I went to Nassau for $75 a night but I do try to be frugal when I am looking at hotels online.
CheaperThanHotels.co.uk has some pretty good deals on hotels in England and the surrounding countries. Finding Dublin accommodation is as easy as clicking the link. Dublin is the largest city in Ireland as well as being it’s capital. It was originally a Viking city and as far as I know it’s been the primary city for several hundred years.
I watched a show with Anthony Bourdain a couple of months ago on Dublin, or rather some of the food and eateries in Dublin. The whole city has really been undergoing a transformation the last few years with plenty of new development. I don’t know much about that, but I would certainly like to head over to the Guinness brewery and hang for a while.
The picture to the left is the Ha’penny Bridge over the River Liffey in Dublin. Until 1919 this pedestrian bridge was a toll bridge, thus the unofficial name. It was originally called Wellington and that changed to Liffey Bridge but everyone still calls it Ha’penny bridge. Prior to building it there were seven ferries that ran across the river. The bridge itself is made out of cast iron.
They also offer Edinburgh accommodation as well as Dublin. In addition to Ireland I want to see Scotland as well. Scotland is situated in the southern part of the U.K. and Edinburgh is a favorite of travelers. It is considered to be one of the most beautiful cities in Europe. Edinburgh is steeped in history and while movies like Braveheart are fictional accounts of what really happened, as usual with things like that there is at least a kernel of truth involved.
This is Edinburgh Castle, taken by Stuart Caie from Edinburgh and originally posted to Flickr.
Glasgow is the largest city in Scotland and I would love to go visit there as well. It is the largest city in Scotland and the second largest in the UK after London. It’s also the center of the United Kingdom’s shipbuilding industry. I’m not particularly interested in the engineering aspects but I would love to check out the shipbuilders and take lots of photos. The big thing about going to Scotland is that there is so much of our collective past in Britain that I want to be part of it. Glasgow accommodation is easily had as well as the aforementioned cities.
One more place I would like to visit is Liverpool. Liverpool accommodation can be had through the CheaperThanHotels website as can several other cites.
Anyway, Liverpool is just over 800 years old, having been founded in 1207. After having traveled around the eastern seaboard of the US several times and visiting what I think of as ‘old’ or even ‘ancient’ historical sites, 800 years seems like such a long time for a city to be standing.
Of course most people know of Liverpool from the home of it’s most famous citizens, the Beatles. In the 1700’s Liverpool controlled a pretty big portion of England’s slave trade as well as 40% of the rest of the world’s trade.
The industrial city peaked in size about a hundred years ago with a population around 800,000 people. Now it’s somewhere around 400k. Liverpool went through a period of time where unemployment and industries weren’t doing very well but it seems to have rebounded and is growing faster than the rest of England now.
I think if only given a choice of one place I would have to go to Ireland. While I want to visit Scotland and the rest of the UK Ireland holds more mystery, at least for me.
So.
Although I am taking today off (crossing my fingers) I still have to get my staffing and call it in to my boss. If for some reason one of my stores isn’t staffed and I can’t find anyone to work I get to fill the spot. That’s what ownership’s all about.
At least that’s the lie I am telling myself.
If I owned it (solely) I would be closed one day a week.
And on holidays.
And quite possibly when I was on vacation as well.
Thus the fact that I work for someone else. Can’t make any money when you are closed.
Anyhow, I am sitting here making coffee listening to my 10-year-old whine and bitch about the fact that she has to go to church and spend the day with friends while the wife and I go to the Renaissance Festival.
“I don’t like their church, it’s boring” got the answer “just sleep through it, that’s what I do” from me which earned quite a sharp look from the wife.
🙂
I have all kinds of respect for other people’s superstitions faith and sometimes that respect comes shining through in the wrong way.
The kids had company over for supper the other night and one of the other children was talking about Jesus with one of our kids. He made the statement about God knowing when you’ve been good or bad so of course Santa Claus Comes to Town pops in my fucking head and I said “Hey, does he check his list twice?”
You better watch out
You better not cry
Better not pout
I’m telling you why
Jesus Christ is coming to town
He’s making a list
And checking it twice;
Gonna crucify anyone not nice
Jesus Christ is coming to town
He sees you when you’re rutting
He knows when you’re awake
He knows if you’ve been bad or good
So be good for goodness sake!
O! You better watch out!
You better not cry
Better not pout
I’m telling you why
Jesus Christ is coming to town
Jesus Christ is coming to town
So how about that Pope? Not Pope Al Gore of the Church of Global Warming but Pope Benedict. He’s on his U.S. Tour in the Popemobile right now. I was hoping to catch his show but it was sold out.
The wife just came in and saw I was getting ready to write something nasty about the Pope, when I really wasn’t so now I won’t. Why would I knock the the head of the largest hypocritical criminal empire in the history of the world? Particularly when they have a direct line to the ear of god. Crap, I might find bugs and shit attacking me were I to think bad things about his holiness.
I need to stop while I’m ahead…
Hey and if anyone wants to come hang, I’ll be at the ren fest in a couple of hours!
I hate when people put flyers and shit on my car in parking lots. It’s just irritating as hell. Apparently my wife didn’t notice when she went grocery shopping last night but the fucking Domino’s Pizza in the Wal-Mart parking lot is apparently putting them on cars. It has rained since then and apparently the flyer was actually one of those sticky fucking stickers that they stick on the fucking pizza boxes. The shit won’t come off now.
I logged on to their web site earlier and the complaint I left them was much nicer than what I typed above. I don’t know what it is but the more I think about it the more steamed I get. I think if I can’t get it off tomorrow we need to take it up there and let the manager get the shit off the car. Anyhow, here’s the comment I left them.
I am not sure who had the bright idea of putting flyers under windshield wipers in the Wal-Mart parking lot, but apparently the ones from this location have something sticky on the back as it won’t come off of my wife’s windshield. I operate a restaurant a couple of doors down from this location and I have to tell you that I really don’t appreciate having this stuff stuck to my wife’s car as it appears I am going to have to take razor blades and WD-40 to get it off. If I wanted a Domino’s pizza flyer stuck to my car I would put it there myself.
Thanks for nothing.
Pretty tame actually. Curse words started flowing from my fingers so I had to cut it short, which is why I have continued my venting here. If I want to advertise your fucking pizza company on the windshield of my wife’s NEW FUCKING CAR I WOULD AIRBRUSH YOUR GODDAMNED NAME ON IT MYSELF YOU FUCKING COCKSUCKERS! I ALREADY QUIT USING YOUR FUCKING RESTAURANT SINCE YOU ONLY DELIVER TO MY NEIGHBORHOOD HALF THE TIME ANYWAY. PAPA JOHNS HAS MUCH BETTER PIZZA AND THEY DELIVER TO MY HOUSE ALL THE FUCKING TIME NOT JUST WHEN THEY FEEL LIKE IT.
Now we return you to your regularly scheduled program…