April 2007

Hate Filled Day…

…not really, but I just realized that I had managed to post three out of the last four entries that could be construed as being offensive to Christians, Gays, and Turks.

Vewwwy intewesting…

Actually most of the I did yesterday before I even left for work because I knew today was going to be a long day. I wonder what was up with me yesterday.

For my next trick I am going to try and piss off Republicans, Buddhists, and Democritters…

That should really improve my reader demographics…or at least my hate mail.

Happy Easter

Just a quickie before I leave for work.

easterbunny1.jpg

crossbunny.jpg

…and my favorite so far. I am so going to hell for this one.

Bunny Crucifixion.jpg


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Dead Babies and Other Fun Stuff

The Addams Family (make sure that you listen to this while you read the post).

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I have a member of the Addams Family working for me, and the entire family hangs out in my restaurant. I suppose with all of the build-up I should elaborate a bit.

I have this one seventeen year old girl that has been working for me, oh..about six months or so. She works the graveyard shift. Her entire family has always reminded me of the Beverly Hillbillies sans money. Serious trailer trash.

A couple of days after I came off my vacation this girls has brought some pictures with her and brings them back to me in the office during shift change. She’s cooing over them, hands me one and says “Isn’t she beautiful?”

Hesitantly I took a look. There is this chick holding a baby. The baby looks like someone beat it with a fucking stick. Seriously. Being the sensitive guy I am and not wanting to repeat my thoughts out loud for fear of losing my job I replied “yep, all babies are beautiful in their own way”. Personally I thought that was a wonderfully diplomatic answer. What the fuck do you say when it looks like the baby you are holding looks worse than an opossum that’s been run over by a tractor trailer?

Out of her sweet little retard mouth comes the punch line “She’s dead”.

Shit, what do I say now? I just held my tongue.

Long story short, apparently this girls aunt was seven months pregnant. Her husband beats her in the stomach causing her to go into labor. I don’t know the specifics of whether she was DOA or if she lived for awhile in the hospital or not. I didn’t ask. She goes on to tell me about the fact that her aunt had told her this but she was afraid to say anything and that her aunt was not going to report it either. Wouldn’t the doctors be able to tell something like this?

Then she shows me the rest of the pictures of them cradling the baby, including one with the father holding the baby just fucking smiling. That’s the one that makes me the angriest.

You know, it can cost thousands of dollars and time spent “training” just to adopt a child and these fucking inbred morons get to make them for free. What do they care, they can make another miserable little redneck any time they want?

Last night my waitress was sitting at the counter with her mother getting ready to come on the floor for her shift and her MOTHER starts showing me the pictures, acting the same way, as if this was the best thing since peanut butter.

One of my day shift waitresses called them the Addams Family today, thus the connection for me. It is just very surreal. Most times I am completely capable of minding my own business when it comes to child beating, wife beating, ice, crack, and all of the millions of other stupid assed things my employees do but I don’t know if I am going to be able to this time.

Perhaps a little Alice Cooper would have been apropos but I think I will stick with the original mp3 I posted.

Birth Cannons

Thanks to Ms. Kat and this extremely short post I am now 5th on Google for Beef Curtains. What? I had never even heard the term until shortly before that post. One good thing has come out of it though. If it weren’t for that particular search I never would have found Muffy’s World of Vagina Euphemisms.


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How Does Music Influence You?

This is something that used to be very relevant in my life when I was in my teens and early twenties. As I get older it isn’t quite as much of an influence as it used to be with one exception. Driving. I have read that reports have been done that show people tend to get more speeding tickets when they are listening to loud music. I haven’t gotten a speeding ticket since 1994 but I tend to drive much faster when listening to certain bands. If I am listening to something such as AC/DC, Megadeth, or Metallica I generally crank it up and drive faster. I suppose at least that part of the report is true but who really cares except for people that think they need to be in control of every little facet of my life and want laws passed that won’t let me listen to music over a certain volume in my car. Asshats.

Yeah.

Anyhow I was thinking specifically about this one show I went to with my friends. Back in my teens a bunch of us lived together and hung out together. Occasionally we would actually work but more often than not we just fucked around hunting for “strange” and getting in trouble. One of our favorite things to do next to going to shows was camping out for them. We would spend literally days camping out at the Omni and occasionally at the Turtles in Peachtree Battle or at the one by the Majestic. I think that was a Turtles anyway. If you are from Atlanta back in the seventies and eighties you know what turtles was.

Back in the eighties Heavy Metal was at it’s peak in the south. Nowadays if a Metal band tours you are lucky to get them to come to Atlanta and if they do they usually play a club rather than a big venue. Not that clubs are a bad thing. Some of the best concerts I have been to have been in clubs. I’ve seen Megadeth, Queensryche, Joe Satriani, SOD, Motorhead, Savatage, and countless other bands in clubs and it is so much better being right there rather than stuck up in the nosebleeds or in the middle of a mosh pit with a bunch of dumbasses, particularly now that I am 40.

Anyway, I don’t remember what show it was that got me to remembering. I think it was Iron Maiden on the Piece of Mind tour, or perhaps Powerslave. Anyway they headlined at the Omni and about twenty of us had seats within the first five rows. We were doing the headbanging thing and just really getting into it when some dumb redneck shoved one of my friends. As a matter of fact it was the guy that I wrote about recently that got busted for running the gambling place up in Flowery Branch earlier this year. The guy that got shoved, not the shover. I lost my shit. I must have jumped over about five people, grabbed the guy off his seat and started bashing his freaking head into the floor. About the time I realized what the hell I was doing I also realized that security was making their way toward me. Man, I ran like a bat out of hell.

I did manage to work my way back around the floor and got back into the front row, but what has always stuck with me was the fact that I lost it so easily. I don’t normally go around bashing people’s heads in, at least not unless it is truly warranted. Before you make the assumption that I was toasted or anything I was completely sober. I don’t drink much anyway and at that point I had quit doing all forms of drugs about two years prior to that. Now, I certainly won’t say that the music “influenced” me to beat the crap out of that guy, that is like the fools that say Judas Priest caused kids to commit suicide. It does however have an effect of facilitation. I figure that I was already pre-disposed to serve out an ass whipping and the music just helped get me in the mood.

Lacuna Coil

When my brother came down this past weekend he left several albums for me to listen to, all by Lacuna Coil. To me they seem to be a cross between Evanescence and Queensryche, which is a good thing. The have two EPs and two full albums out, about 29 songs total. I have been listening pretty much non-stop for the last two days, at least when I am here at home. Here’s their biography from the Karmacode home page. The Karmacode is their latest album, released in 2006.

LACUNA COIL Biography

There is no better indication that greatness can be achieved through a resilient work ethic than Lacuna Coil, whose aggressive touring and extensive critical praise have now poised them for mainstream domination. The group initially left their mark on the hard rock scene in 2004 with their acclaimed album, Comalies, which opened several opportunities for them that were previously thought unattainable for an Italian band, such as two highly successful commercial radio campaigns alongside a breakthrough Ozzfest appearance resulting in over 500,000 copies sold worldwide with a quarter of a million in the U.S. alone. Now, Lacuna Coil returns with their highly anticipated new album, Karmacode, which is another huge step forward in the band’s continuous evolution. It has been years since an artist came along that could redefine a genre, but this group has the potential to do just that. This is the next big thing.
Upholding the emotive yin-yang tradition of vocal interplay between the dulcet tones of Cristina Scabbia and the scorching vocals of her male singing partner Andrea Ferro, Karmacode sees Lacuna Coil realize the potential at which Comalies hinted, but their evolution is both sonic and spiritual. “If there were an actual translation of Karmacode,” says Ferro, “it would be something like, ‘Spiritual DNA and the message behind it.’ The title attempts to balance our modern, overwhelming, self-centered, fast-paced lifestyles and the desire we all have to lead a more spiritual, compassionate and fulfilling life.”
The American breakthrough for Lacuna Coil — whose moniker translates to “empty spiral” in English, betraying the rich versatility of their music — began with 2001’s Unleashed Memories, an album that merited a special mention in Billboard magazine’s Hard Music Spotlight. That same year, their first U.S. tour left audiences mesmerized by what Metal Maniacs described as “intoxicating” live performances.
Still, the runaway success of 2002’s Comalies was the foundation of which the band’s success was built. The album was praised by the likes of Entertainment Weekly, Revolver, Rolling Stone, Stuff and virtually every hard rock/metal publication of note. Soon after the album’s release, the group’s profile grew tenfold thanks to aggressive touring with the likes of P.O.D., Opeth, Anthrax, Type O Negative and Danzig. With the success of the album’s first single, “Heaven’s A Lie,” Billboard called the band “one of the larger success stories in metal,” as MTV2 and Fuse put the track’s video into heavy rotation and the song itself graced commercial radio airwaves across the country and planted itself within the R&R Active Rock Top 30 Chart. Prominent Boston station WAAF led the charge, inviting Lacuna Coil to appear at its annual Locobazooka festival (alongside such major acts as Staind and Sevendust) in addition to performing acoustically on the air.
In early 2004, Lacuna Coil’s successes were validated with an invitation to participate in that year’s Ozzfest, supporting such metal stalwarts as Judas Priest, Slayer and Ozzy himself. Lacuna Coil offered something unique to the package that ultimately struck a chord with fans, resulting in their being hailed as the year’s breakthrough artist. Over the course of the massive two-month trek, the group also SoundScanned more units per week than any other band on the bill second only to the platinum-selling artist Slipknot. The radio success of “Heaven’s A Lie” waned only as the popularity of the second single, “Swamped” increased at Active Rock and even found its way on to more than a dozen Alternative stations as well.
Lacuna Coil spent the summer of 2005 performing at some of Europe’s premier festivals alongside such household names as Green Day, Incubus and System Of A Down while completing the songwriting process for Karmacode. The highly anticipated new effort was produced by Sorychta and Lacuna Coil in Germany and Italy, while the album was both mixed by Ronald Prent (Rammstein, H.I.M., Iron Maiden) and mastered by Darcy Proper (Steely Dan, Porcupine Tree, R.E.M.) at Galaxy Studios in Belgium. Asterik Studio (Trapt, Funeral For A Friend, The Used), the Grammy-nominated design firm, handled the package design. This offering begins where Comalies left off, and it will further solidify their spot as one of the genre’s most dynamic and exhilarating artists.
The album’s lead track, “Our Truth,” received its worldwide debut on the Underworld: Evolution soundtrack, where it appeared alongside such acclaimed artists as Puscifer (Maynard Kennan’s [Tool, A Perfect Circle] new project), Chester Bennington (Linkin Park), Slipknot, My Chemical Romance, Atreyu and more. A video for the track was shot in Los Angeles by Fort Awesome, a brand-new directorial duo whose individual credits include Queens of the Stone Age, Linkin Park, Disturbed, Chevelle and more. Lacuna Coil kicked off the album’s extensive touring cycle with a high profile six-week U.S. trek with to Rob Zombie. This year the group were also featured on the covers of such esteemed publications as Revolver, Metal Edge, Outburn and Decibel, among others.
With four full-length albums and two EPs now to their credit, Lacuna Coil have ensured that each offering further enunciates the subtle, solemn beauty they create. Karmacode takes that a step further, seeing them further mature as musicians and songwriters to deliver their most cohesive, career-defining album. If karma has anything to do with it, Italy’s most successful rock export will not have to wait long for the entire mainstream world to take notice

Hopefully they won’t mind my pulling that off the page, if they do I will be more than happy to take it down. They are playing the Tabernacle in Atlanta on Monday. I would love to go to the show but as that is my only day off next week I probably won’t make it.


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Die Hard 4 Trailer

Sweet. Just came across this at Youtube. It’s the new trailer for Die Hard 4, one of my favorites. Bruce Willis just kicks some serious ass.

Cross-Posted at theapp.net


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Making parachutes (0402071816.3g2) for April 04, 2007, 08:04 PM

First Day Back…

…and it didn’t go too badly. I always hate going back to work after a nice vacation and this one was no different particularly after having been off for ten days. Everyone was excited that I was back in my store, probably more so than myself. My boss had everything up to date as far as the paperwork. I have worked for her before and I should know by now that she would have it complete, but you never know. I have worked for some complete asshats in my time there and always expect the worse.

I did get to meet the new division manager today and my visit went very well. I am still not quite sure why everyone hates him so much. I think that the biggest part of it is that most of the management team in my area has never worked for anyone but the guy who quit/got fired so they don’t know what to make of him. I on the other hand expect change. I have worked for forty or fifty different people over the last twenty years and the only thing that stays the same in the restaurant business is constant change. Sometimes it only happens once or twice a year, but sometimes there are several changes all at once. Either way, he seemed OK. I have to go to the Thursday afternoon meeting with him tomorrow, so once that is over my tune might change.

Amazingly enough I managed to get out the door by 2:30 which is pretty much unheard of for me coming back in after so much time off. I am extremely happy about that. Once I am finished posting this I think I will lie my happy ass down and take a nap until the Wife and Kids gets home.

By the way, since I have been crapped on about it, which theme do you guys prefer? This one or the last one? Or does it matter. I have pretty much decided that rather than using one of the pre-made themes that I have been using I am going to make my own custom theme but it would be cool to know what you all like. As if it matters. Oh, I mean it matters a bunch. That’s my story and I am sticking to it.

Let’s Get Moving Then…

Time for this slacker to get a move on. I still have to shower and I need to pick up my cook this morning at 6 AM. Looks like I might be slightly late in getting him, but not too much. Hopefully I will be a bit more awake this afternoon. There are several things swimming around in this cesspool that I want to talk about, but not yet ready to put them down yet.