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Some Things You Just Have To Do…

I managed to get about five hours of sleep last night. More like yesterday since it is “last night” right now. I figured I would get a few posts up while I had the chance and try to wake up a bit. The last thing I want to do right now is go in to work, but we have really been on our manager’s asses about saving money and being productive while they are in their restaurants so I am trying to make sure I cook or wait tables at least five shifts a week. It means close to an extra $900 a month for me to hit my profit goal, so a little extra work damn sure won’t kill me.

By going in in the next hour I am also able to say that I worked my six or seven hours saving money that I would normally pay a cook, and still take most of the day off work, and Monday is my normal day off. I’m looking forward to meeting everyone for breakfast in Dunwoody, so this works out very well for me. Now as long as everyone shows up for the day shift in my three stores I will be out of there by eightish.

Maybe Later, Honey…

I am getting ready to hit the sack. There are some folks getting together for breakfast tomorrow morning and I want to be there so I am going in to work around 3AM. For me that means getting up around midnight. Time for a couple of benadryl and a beer. That shit ought to knock me out for the next eight hours. I will probably have a bit of time to post “in the morning” when I get back up.

If you think you did hit the big 200k, let me know, otherwise I will just have some kind of contest for the shirt.

Texting May Have Led to Girls Deaths

Apparently this girls was sending text messages while driving right before she ran her SUV into a truck killing her and four other friends. Now I have been known to use the cell phone while driving, but text messages? I guess you either have to be 18, retarded, or both to do some stupid shit like that.


Recruiting New Managers

One of my specific job duties is the recruiting of new managers as well as hourly associates. Sometimes it can be difficult for me to go out recruiting because at the end of the day being in the restaurant I am tired and want nothing more than to go home and relax but recruitment is a very important part of my job. My company continues to grow every year as it has for the last 57 and shows no signs of stopping. Profits are great and we are ramping up on expanding again over the next two years at a little over a 7% growth rate. Sure, that’s nowhere in the league of McDonalds or some of the bigger chains, but we surpassed all of our direct competition long ago and now we are starting to compete with the fast food chains and in order to do so we have to continue to have a great people supply chain.

My company obviously is not the only one in the world looking for new recruits. Most companies are because in the service industry either you are growing or you are stagnating and losing potential money and customers. Fish.Co.Uk is a pretty popular site with plenty of international job opportunities that you may be interested in if you are looking for work. You can set up a profile in minutes and upload your CV (resume) as well for potential employers to look at.

They have more than just job listings though. Fish.Co.Uk also provides links to Psychometric tests, recruiter profiles, tips on how to improve your CV, training and education, and even links to purchase your own business and finally go to work for yourself just as you have always dreamed. If you are in the market for a new job go check out Fish.Co.Uk

REALLY Dirty Dancing AKA The Poo Poo Dance

Some folks dance the Mambo, the Waltz, the Jitterbug. Some like the Macerena. There are even folks that dance with the stars on TV now. I don’t dance.

Often.

Although today there was the Poo Poo Dance.

What’s that you say?

I thought you would never ask.

The Poo Poo Dance is when you are about eight miles from the house and you have to shit so bad you are driving the car in a standing position trying to squeeze your ass cheeks together so that nothing will slip when you hit that next bump. God forbid you think you have to squeeze a little fart out and get a little more than you bargained for. Ever see anyone driving while standing, aside from someone operating heavy equipment?

You run REALLY fast from the car to the house while your neighbors wonder just what the fuck it is you are doing. Then the door doesn’t want to open while you are hopping up and down and the key gets stuck in the damn lock when you try to get it back out and you finally get in the bathroom trying to run through the house with your pants around your ankles. Shit spews before you even get seated properly so as to create a mighty big splash so you don’t know if you have crapped yourself or not.

Once you finally get finished with your business you have to check your shorts for chunks and skid marks in order to assure yourself that you really didn’t crap your pants.

Ever done the Poo Poo Dance?

Me either, I was just wondering…

Starting Out On a Good Foot?

These people should take a lesson or two from Shadowscope & his lovely bride. They have been happily married for quite some time now and are just the sweetest couple. This bride is already on depressants on the wedding day and attacking her husband with a shoe?

“While the guests were enjoying the wedding reception downstairs, the newlyweds engaged in a fight-like situation in their hotel room that later ended in bride striking her new groom with heel of her stiletto shoe. Police arrested 33-year-old Teresa Brown in the couple’s hotel room for attacking his 40-year-old groom Mark Allerton. According to her attorney, Brown had been on antidepressants and drinking at the time of the incident. “

Come on girl, give him at least a one month grace period. Then you can start to beat his ass.

Not back yet…

…but I will be this evening. Just relaxing and taking a bit of time to post before I come home and lock the keys back up for awhile. Something wrong with my damned archive links so that will be the second order of business once I get unpacked and get the dog walked.

The first order will be getting the keys back. After getting photographically abused by Chickie, getting fat porn from Velociman as well as ass-fucked (I enjoyed that big boy) AND found in a Google search for bald men, accused of kidnapping by Mr. Fabulous (I swear she’s in one piece), berated for paid posts by Sam, getting defaced (AND shit-faced, but that’s a whole ‘nother story) by my little brother (the link to KOS had to be the worst one), receiving weird shit (what did I expect) from Elisson (I did recognise the daughter by the way) and having Redneck ramble for awhile I am ready to be back. Oh, and don’t worry Redneck, you fit right the fuck in here with just another gotdamn redneck. If they were easily offended they wouldn’t be here in the first place. It’s amazing the abuse that people can take…

I do sincerely appreciate you folks looking after the place whilst I was being vacant which seems to happen quite a bit more as I get older. I may even invite you back to the house even if you do have a hard time with the interface. By that time it should all be out of beta and should be a bit easier to navigate. What better way to beta test the interface than invite a bunch of people that have never fucking seen it before to post over the last few days…

Sooner or later it will be back to the same old bump and grind (one can only hope). Gonna try and pick up a few paid posts today as a matter of fact in order to cover expenses…If you see them start popping up here and there it just means back to business as usual but I will try and keep them light Sam. I am just another whore after all but I do take everything with a grain of salt (and lime in the case of the Corona I was enjoying last night…

Tramp Stamp Tuesday

Just because I am on vacation doesn’t mean I can’t post a bit of this and a bit of tat.

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At the beach



At the beach

Originally uploaded by rmiles


Better late than never is my story, and I'm stickin' to it.

I’ll figure out how to be late for my own funeral.  Yes, I will.  I’m not sure why “Richie” asked me to guest blog while he’s out playin’ beached whale, but hey, I told him I was gonna be late gettin’ in to trash the joint, and I was right.  I’ve been off burnin’ brain cell(yes, there’s only one left, so it’s singular) at both ends.  Looks to me like he’s doin’ a pretty damned good job bloggin’ from vacation.

He really gave me no guidelines, nor any specific rules, so consider this a warning.  If you’re easily offended by RedNeck’s, best check the fuck on out now.  It ain’t gonna be pretty.  That disclaimer should be plenty of a clue as to whats comin’.  My vocabulary is limited as proven by how much I cuss.  And I don’t give a damn.  I can usually get my point across.  Oh, I ramble too.  It’s what I do.  No train of thought.  Trains are for pussy’s, and engineers with funny hats, and David Alan Coe’s Perfect Country & Western song… “choo choo”.  Crap, ’bout now I feel like I’ve been hit by a train.  Hammered shit is close to describin’ it, but it doesn’t quite do this particular feelin’ justice.

“Richie” knows what I’m talkin’ about, he’s been to Helen back.  This weekend Helen was in Naperville, where time stands still.  For me anyway, but then it catches back up on Sunday mornin’ early sometime.  Usually while I’m sleepin’ and have a plane to catch.  Yes, I did “that” again.  Only difference is, I actually made this flight out this time.  Left half my shit in the hotel room by accident.  I mean I left outta that place fast, like when the cops show up at a party in High School while we were drinkin’ somebody’s Daddy’s liquor.  That kinda quick(Grab your shit and haul ass).  I’d have been busted if that was the case, cause I did leave some clues.  DNA’s a bitch.  I watch CSI Miami, I know.  They get the hair brush, I’m toast.  I like the little blonde from Raleigh(<– there’s another word where the I before E except after C is bogus, second time this week I’ve done that, maybe I ought to play the lottery) NC on that show.  Anyway she’s hawt, and she’s always shootin’ guns.

Had to get my “spare” brush out of the truck this mornin’ ’cause I left ol’ faithful in the room there in the Holiday Inn “Select”.  Yeah, right, they’re “Selective” ok.  They let me in.  Kinda like “Richie” and his guest blogger choices.  That shit Elison put up was… uh, original, yeah, that’s it.  I met a NASCAR driver there on Saturday night.  He went to great effort to interrupt me while I was on the phone in the hallway ’cause everybody was raisin’ 13 kinds of hell in the room and I couldn’t hear shit.  Just walked the hell on up, and asked me for a cigarette while I was trying to talk to the cab company drunk.  Like y’all ain’t never been drunk when a NASCAR driver walks up to you and wants to bum a smoke.  Lord knows they’re underpaid, and need a RedNeck to supply ’em with ‘bacca.   He made the damned mistake of askin’ me if  I had an “extra”  cigarette.  I almost punched the bastard right there.  Yeah asshole, It’s our lucky day, they accidentally put 21 in this pack. I don’t mind givin’ out smokes to strangers, sometimes… that wasn’t one of ’em.  I did it because I thought he’d leave after he got what he wanted. Kinda like my ol’ lady.  Wrong.

We had the door propped open for easy entry and exit, but that was for us, not Mr. NASCAR driver.  Don’t get me wrong hell, I love NASCAR, but shit, this fool was no more a NASCAR driver than I’m Batman.  Always wanted to say that “I’m Batman”…   It’s the little things in life.  Anyway, back to the open door.  I got off the phone, walked back into the room, got close to my beer again and sat down in the chair, and I’m gettin’ weird looks from everybody like who in the fuck is that guy.  I’m like, “I don’t know, jackass walked up to me in the hallway and wanted a smoke.  I gave him one, and thought/hoped he drive his NASCAR hiney on down the hallway.  It was Saturday night, they were runnin’ the NASCAR race in Daytona, at that time, what the hell is this dude doin’ in Naperville. 

Those of you that were in Austin last year, will get this, the rest of you might not, but hey, I thought I was gonna have to teach NASCAR boy how to “fly”.  He was edgin’ ever so closer to the cooler, where the beer was chillin’.  Hey man, the door was open, not the bar asshole.  I finally walked up to him and said, lookit dude, you need to go talk to your crew chief or somethin’.  You got your cigarette, but you need to get the hell on outta here.  He did.  He must’ve noticed the choicely sweet ass shirt Leslie got me earlier that day…  Back of it says “Instant Redneck, just add beer”.  I guess since he was a NASCAR driver, he figured out beer cans, assholes, and elbows were ’bout to start flyin’. 

It helps when Marines and Sailors are around, although, I’m sure there were some ladies there that night that coulda took this fucker out in about 5 seconds.  It wouldn’t have taken all six of ’em to do it either.   I think Tammi could’ve done it single handedly, but I didn’t want to bug her.  She was chillin’ on the mattress.  With 5 other ladies.  Wasn’t but half a dozen of ’em there, but at that point, they were all in my bed.  Covers smelled a lot better that night than the night before. Yes, they did rightfully exit the bed before I got in it, but you know… I’m just sayin’.    Well, that’s just the “Saturday evenin'” part.  I probably should go back to the ‘Neckshack and scribble out what happened on Friday, and Saturday before “evenin'”, and Sunday mornin’. 

Richie, if I think of some other way to come back and “pile on”, I will.  I wish my photoshop skills were better.  I’d so like to  “pay it forward” for you givin’ Eric manboob mondays dog…  That was wrong.

Funny as hell, but wrong.