There’s Nothing Like…

rmiles7721October 16, 20071Blogging

Being blog of the day when there’s a big old Love Ewe on the top of the page. I couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried. Skull

…Just saw the wife and girls off to work and school. I am working an evening shift once a week now in order to improve the business and training. Although I like being at home with the girls in the evening it’s nice to be able to sleep in on a work day. Except for a few days like today where it falls smack in the middle of my work week I have set up my second shifts to coincide with the day after my day(s) off so that I get one or two off and then come in late on my first day back. Considering that I always stay up too late blogging when I am off that will work out nicely.

Quote of the day:
In a real dark night of the soul it is always three o’clock in the morning, day after day. – F. Scott Fitzgerald

Saturday Afternoon…

rmiles7721October 15, 20076Travel

As last year, we spent most of Saturday afternoon parked outside by the river. It didn’t take long before a crowd gathered and the implements of destruction started to come out.

I think that I started out with Sam Adams Oktoberfest around 11AM or so. Quite fitting for the Blogtoberfest it was indeed. Georgia brought the Love Ewe down to the river to keep us company and we found out that it was she who kept the Love Ewe company Friday night. At least someone had a bit of fun Love Struck

Helen Blogtoberfest 081

After a bit of introspection Elisson found directions on the sheep’s ass. What he was doing with the sheep’s ass I didn’t bother asking. Just saying, that’s all. I did manage to get a bit of video of the poetic reading as a matter of fact. It’s a pretty crappy video but what the hell do you expect from my cell phone anyway, miracles?

After the bit of reading some more quite interesting things came out such as Flying Monkeys and the Headless Cock.

Helen Blogtoberfest 066

Helen Blogtoberfest 065

I am still not sure who enjoyed stroking the cock more…     

 

 

The flying monkeys kicked ass though. Key shows us how they work. I think this was shortly after V-Man beaned with in the lip with a half-rubber. That fucker is still swollen.

My girls got the booty when I arrived home so that is most likely the last I will see of the flying monkey, at least until it swoops down upon my unsuspecting head.

Of course maybe I shouldn’t have given them the monkey, particularly after catfish inserted it into the Ewe…

Helen Blogtoberfest 094

Throughout the afternoon various items found their way into the back end of the Love Ewe. I can only show you those safe for family viewing however Laughing

Helen Blogtoberfest 131

Sam demonstrates the proper placement of Shiner. This was right around the time that some new arrivals showed up. John Cox paid us a visit after Sam and Zonker drove to Atlanta and kidnapped him at gunpoint. Art will never be the same again. Eric and Fiona also arrived shortly after the sheep shenanigans as well.

The punch arrived…

Helen Blogtoberfest 140

Ah, the punch…Much can be said about Chatham Artillery Punch. Mixed with several hours of drinking beer and washed down with Chocolate Vodka…It’s no wonder that I woke up dead Sunday morning.

Georgia shows us her Headless Cock impersonation…

Helen Blogtoberfest 098

Quite a likeness…

And the amazing swelling reptile was brought out. Not that one, a real fake reptile.

Helen Blogtoberfest 114

This bad boy when immersed in water is supposed to swell up to three feet long within seven days…It disappeared at some point prior to Sunday morning…

A bit of Half-Rubber was finally played. The Kristy decided to park cars where we played last year, so we moved the deal over behind our cabins. Less bother for the normal people I am sure, what with all of the fun going on.

Helen Blogtoberfest 194

Helen Blogtoberfest 244

“If you don’t throw the ball right this time I am going to beat you to death with a shovel!”

Helen Blogtoberfest 223

That was right around the end of my picture taking for the weekend. I shot a couple hundred pictures. Some were pretty good and some were shit. I will be posting them eventually and if you want, shoot me an email and I will ftp them somewhere or I can probably burn a CD.

Anyway, around four or so several of us decided that we were getting hungry. Being as how I am such a lightweight drinker I thought that food might be a good thing to have. Zonker knew of a barbecue place and several of us made the trek. It was pretty good but I still haven’t decided if the half mile walk to the place was worth it or not. It did manage to negate the effects of the alcohol that I had imbibed thus far, or at least push them into the background for awhile.

Shortly after getting back to the area I returned to my comfy chair and started in on the punch again. It was about that time that I said fuck it and called my senior manager and informed him that he was in charge for the rest of the evening and the next morning and that I would be turning my phone off until I arrived home. That may have been a mistake…

John did a few caricatures while he was there, and has them up at his site as well. Luckily I was fortunate enough not to have been drawn. I was pretty much a walking caricature with my zeebus T-shirt and monkey on the head anyway. Forgot to tell you about that part…perhaps later, when I return to talk about the rest of Saturday night and Sunday morning.

Saturday Morning…

rmiles7721October 15, 200711Blogging, Travel

So we get up Saturday morning. I was up pretty early originally. I woke up around four and reset the alarm for six so that I could make sure that everyone was going to show up for work. I called the stores when I got back, made sure that my six o’clock girls were there and called all of my cooks to make sure they were all up and on the way. At seven I called the stores back to speak to the managers and get their sales numbers. Amazingly everyone showed up for work Saturday. It took that one manager 40 minutes to count the damned drawer and finally get her numbers to me though. I don’t know what the heck takes her so damn long but it’s like pulling teeth to get it done.

Once she finally gave me what I needed I called my boss and told him who was in each store and so on…at which point he asks:

“where are you at today”

“I’m sort of off, but I’ll be taking care of staffing”

Helen Blogtoberfest 044“That’s what I thought. Talk to you later”

Bwahaha

At this point I went back to bed until nine or so. I wanted to try and sleep later but it just wasn’t happening.

We decided to go find people and maybe go eat some breakfast, as the bagel I had eaten just wasn’t going to do it. V-Man and Key had just driven back up to their cabin after having waited forty minutes somewhere and never Helen Blogtoberfest 045getting fed. They had to check out of their cabin and needed to get cleaned up, but V-Man was still hunting something to eat. The previous year we had  eaten at a pretty nice buffet off the beaten path called the Farmer’s Market Cafe so we decided to go there. The wife and I, Elisson and SWMBO, and V-Man wandered down there. No wait and the food was good. It’s really not that far from the main road so I don’t know why they weren’t that crowded. Luckily they were nice too. I left my travel mug and the waitress chased us down to return it. My favorite on too (the mug, not the waitress)

After breakfast we wandered back down to the Chalet Kristy and found some of the reprobates already hanging out in front of their rooms. Erica was up pretty early considering how long she had been awake the night before. I don’t know how late everyone had stayed up since I was in bed around eleven or so.

Helen Blogtoberfest 048

After we had made our greetings and all of that happy shit we decided to gather down by the river.

Helen Blogtoberfest 053

That’s the view of the Chattahoochee from the swings outside of the Chalet Kristy. The place is a dive but it’s the only one that will let us come back year after year. It’s also a family-owned type place so we are giving our business to locals rather than some corporate conglomeration, which is kind of cool.

I have to go get ready for work but will post more pics and whatnot once I get home this afternoon provided everything goes well at work today. I have to return the rental and then go to a three o’clock meeting but that’s about it as far as I know.

Quote of the day:
Life is pleasant. Death is peaceful. It’s the transition that’s troublesome. – Isaac Asimov

Friday Evening in Helen…

rmiles7721October 14, 200710Blogging, Travel

Against my better judgement I pretty much skipped out on work this weekend and drove to Helen with the wife and a friend of ours. I have been wrestling with it all week because I don’t particularly want to hassle with my boss. So much for that.

Friday we cooked breakfast for 150 teachers at my wife’s high school. I went in around 5AM or so and got everything started and we made it to the school around 8:30 or so and got out of there by 11. I had planned on getting the girls from the wife and shooting out of work early but the stores got a bit busy so I helped until almost two before I was able to leave. I was hoping to get the hell out of Temple and through Atlanta before Friday afternoon traffic but no such luck. I took almost four hours to make the two hour drive.

As we drove into the parking lot I knew it would be an interesting evening. Most of the bloggers were standing around the parking lot of the Kristy sampling Chatham Artillery Punch and meeting folks they hadn’t met before or greeting old friends. Let’s see if I can remember who was there. Elisson and SWMBO, Sam left his evil twin at home but did bring the wife, Zonker, Catfish, Recondo32 and Georgia, GuyK, Erica, Jimbo and the bodyguard, Joan of Argghh and the Jolly Roger, The Grouchy Old Cripple, Key and V-Man, Leslie, and shortly after we got there, Dax Montana himself.

Once everyone had been greeted I checked in to my cabin. The last thing I had eaten had been several hours prior and I was starved. We unloaded the truck (rental) and walked up to the “strip”. The Chalet Kristy is right on the Chattahoochee smack dab in the middle of town so there was no a long walk. I don’t drive once I start drinking somewhere which is one of the reasons I like having the blogmeet right in town.

The restaurant/bar we went to was full of bikers and other tourists. The atmosphere was pretty cool but it took fucking forever to get my food and by that time the live band 20 feet behind me had started blasting out rock & roll tunes. Pretty good stuff until they got to Van Morrison, which spoiled the mood. I ran outside at 9PM so that I could get sales and staffing for my stores. All I had until that point was soft drinks as I was really afraid I would have to drive back to work and didn’t want to attempt it even with one beer.

We got back to the hotel and rather than partying in one of the cabins we all ended up in/around Erica’s room and overflowing into the parking lot. I hung out there for awhile but after a couple of beer I was damn tired and retired to the cabin to get some much needed sleep. Prior to going to bed though, Sam and I picked up Elisson’s date…

party

Thanks to GuyK for the photograph. I had the camera with me (I think) but was so busy laughing that I forgot to take any pictures. The sheep is a “gotta be there” thing. Elisson put up a post a few months back about being in one of those stores that sell interesting things such as the Love Ewe and he was wondering what kind of self-respecting guy couldn’t get a date with a real sheep…I immediately went online and found one for him.

Somewhere there are pictures of me blowing the sheep, or rather, inflating the sheep. I am sure they will come out sooner or later.

Apparently RSM showed up Friday evening as well. I missed him until the next night. It’s nice to see that he is doing well. I got out of the habit of going over to When the Smoke Clears while he was in basic training. I need to rectify that and go visit more often as he is a pretty talented and descriptive author.

Tomorrow I will try and post about Saturday. It’s going to be a long day and I have to deal with the fall-out of ignoring work entirely after Saturday afternoon (I will get to that later). All I know is that it might get ugly. It is time for my beauty sleep now. After all of the alcohol I consumed this weekend I need plenty of it.

There Will Be Pictures…

rmiles7721October 14, 20074Blogging, Travel

…and maybe even a word or two. I’ve been home about six hours now but I have just recently crawled out of bed. Chocolate Vodka kicks ass…

Flatulating Flatulence, Batman!

rmiles7721October 14, 2007Site News

Did you ever have the nasty runny shits that make you race to the toilet and almost before you get properly seated and a smoke lit it comes spewing out of your anal sphincter to splash the toilet water so violently as to get your entire backside wet?

Me either, just wondering.

So Many Bills…So Little Time

rmiles7721October 12, 2007Site News

From yesterday’s Downsizer Dispatch:

So many bills in so little time. Last week, the
Senate passed  14 bills amounting to 1482 pages. The House passed 15 bills
totaling 50 pages. How does this happen?

Each member of Congress sits on a few committees, (where they are often
susceptible to lobbyist influence.) Even if they develop some expertise in a
few areas, they haven’t read, and know very little about, most of the bills
their party leaders ask them to pass. Many of these bills delegate more money
and authority to the President and administrative agencies. The process has its
own inertia, and government grows and grows. It doesn’t matter what the people
want, and the long-term consequences for the nation are rarely considered. This
is why we need the Read
the Bills Act.

But can we pass the Read the Bills Act?

We believe so, because it is clear the tide is turning in our country. The
political culture is changing. Signs of popular discontent are rising all
around us. Polls show record-low approval ratings for Congress, and near-record
lows for the President.  A supposedly “fringe” Presidential
candidate, Ron Paul, dominates the Internet and shocked the Establishment by
raising $5.1 million over the past three months. His message of downsizing the
federal government is resonating with more and more people. Agree or disagree
with Paul, his success is a stinging rebuke to the status quo.

It is clear that people want change, and we can achieve it.

Although we were taught in school that we have a Constitutional system of
checks and balances between the legislative, executive, and judicial branches,
the only check that matters is the people. History shows that direct action
from the people does work. Direct action does lead to change. Popular
resistance can undo any government program. For instance, popular resistance
brought Prohibition to an end. The draft was ended during the Nixon
Administration because of popular backlash, and hasn’t returned for fear of the
same.

But we are not  even asking for popular resistance. Instead, we are asking
for popular persistence. Contact Congress. Tell Congress what must be
done. Ask your friends to do the same, and to tell their friends. And then, do
it all over again. And again. As the pressure mounts, Congress can not afford
to ignore us. Indeed, they will begin to fear us. And so we ask you to tell your Representative and
Senators to introduce and pass the Read the Bills Act.

We also ask you to spread the word. Click the “Tell a Friend” button
on the campaign page.

And add your blog or website to the Read the Bills Act Coalition. Details are
found here.

This week, we welcome four new members to the Coalition:

mccoolportraits
Dooglio.net
The Pro’se Plaintiffs &
Litigants Association
NextRevolution

Finally, a list of the bills Congress passed last week is found at the bottom
of the
blog version of this Dispatch.

We invite you to visit our blog regularly and post your comments. Check it out here.

On My Way

rmiles7721October 12, 2007Travel

I have finally gotten my stores staffed not that it’s 2:35pm and I am heading to Helen. I may end up having to come back at some point this weekend but it just depends on my staffing. It will really suck to get shitfaced and then have to drive four hours to work.

Works Sucked Today

rmiles7721October 11, 20071Site News

That’s pretty much as plain as I can put it. I suppose it could have been worse. I knew it was going to be an extremely long day and since all of my managers are in place the next three days I came in a bit late. I had to run to Carrollton to buy a toner for one of the printers and stopped to see a friend of mine at my old store. It was her last day there. It will be sad to see her go but she’s got a great job working for the Red Cross and I am happy for her.

It was meeting day so I spent most of the day gathering paperwork and putting it together and then sat at the meeting until around five this evening. Pretty uneventful actually. One of my cooks didn’t show up tonight, so I had to find someone else. There goes overtime $ down the drain, the asshat.

Cleveland School Shooting

rmiles7721October 11, 2007Site News

Some more video on the shooting yesterday in Cleveland.

According to Police, two guns, three knives and a duffle bag stuffed with ammunition was found near the body of the teen who shot four people at the Cleveland school. Police have identified the shooter as fourteen-year-old Asa Coon. Coon shot and killed himself as the law officers arrived at the scene. Luckily he must have been a pretty crappy shot because the only fatality was himself.

Technorati Tags: