Say Cheese

Because you haven’t seen anything quite this strange today.

[Recognize anyone in the movie?]

 

Defacing My Brother's Website

I don’t know what Richard was thinking, asking me to guest blog.  See, the thing is, I knew him when he was four.  From what I can remember (which isn’t much, seeing as how I was in an infant when he was four), he wasn’t as ugly then, nor as bald.  Then, for a few years he was teenager, and grew his hair so long that it somehow damaged the roots, and it wouldn’t grow back at all. Damn shame, too.

So I was trying think….

Yeah.

Anyway, what was I going to do while I had temporary keys here to the old Shadowscope? As we know from Richard’s occasional ruminations, Shadowscope launched back when the internet was put together by Al Gore by stringing together two 1950’s mainframes with a string. Or at least back in the old days of BBSs.  (For what it’s worth, I used to occasionally dial in to his dial-up version of shadowscope, back when I had a modem that weighed fifty pounds.  The content has improved a slightly since then).

The best I could think of was to completely deface it.  But clearly he’s smarter than that, because  all I can do is add new posts (I really wanted to change the template back the girly gardening template he had back on April Fool’s, but I couldn’t figure out how.  Too bad I didn’t grab a screenshot).   So, instead, I’m going to post a blatant advertisement (which won’t be particularly out of place), and then I’m going to link to all of the sites I read, which Richard almost certainly doesn’t, because they are all way to freaky lefty communist type stuff.

So here’s the blatant ad: please buy my book.  Please.  Come on, you can do it.  As an additional incentive, if you order it from Amazon today, I’ll throw in nice plastic packaging and a cardboard container with a UPS label.  You can’t beat that.  All you have to do is click, supply your credit card number, and away you go.

republic_468_60.jpg
Ok, first part done.

Now, for the second part, here’s a list of websites Richard doesn’t read, but really ought to be listed on his blog in order to be fair and balanced:

DailyKos
Huffington Post
Democratic Underground
Democrats.com
Buzzflash

Alright, you have officially been defaced.

016_13A.jpgSee how much better looking I am than he is?  It’s the hair.  Definitely the hair.

Thanks, Richie, for the opportunity.

Attention Men With Thinning Hair…

There are approximately 3,000 hucksters willing and able to take your desperate dollars for a cure.

 

None of them work, of course. You’re bald, bitch! Deal with it, and move on.

 

That is all.

Up Early

As usual no matter where I go I am awake several hours before anyone else. I tossed and turned until about 2AM but did manage to sleep until 8, which is quite late for me. The girls are awake alreasy as well and I have been trying to keep them quiet so as not to wake up the tribe here. Once they get started they don’t shut up and the peace and quiet is nice. Altogether there are about six kids here, two of which are mine.

Yesterday we drove on to the island and spent the great majority of the day at the beach. I have quite a nice sunburn, maybe I can add to it today. My original plans were to go to Savannah today and then spend tomorrow back at the beach but those may have changed on me. I will have to wait and see what everyone else wants to do I suppose.

After the beach we went back to the Art Cafe, which is our friend’s shop, and let the girls paint for awhile and the wife and I slipped away for a coffee at Java Joes, which has the best coffee on the island aside from Starbucks and that’s only because I am like a crack addict when it comes to Starbucks.

Once Niqui’s eldest daughter arrived we drove to the Salty Dog because no trip to Hilton Head is complete without a trip to the Salty Dog. It’s actually a pretty cool place. It is a collection of several restaurants and an outside bar on the marina, with live music. Children are extremely welcome, thus the reason for the trip. Anywhere that I can have several beers while my children act like idiots is good. Normally restaurants kick you out for that type of behavior. I had also picked it because V-Man was supposed to attend, but he apparently found that he was enjoying trashing my house so much that he came up with some lame story about a check engine light. Check engine light my ass (it still aches, thanks V-man).

As soon as we got there of course it started raining but we hung in there for awhile. It fucking poured for some time and right about the time it started clearing up a bit everyone decided that it was time to go. They were all wet and uncomfortable and wanted to leave. You wouldn’t think they were from England the way a little water scared them 🙂 Actually only the mother and oldest child is from England, the rest were born here. I got my panties a bit in a wad about having to leave, but they were uncomfortable and tired after having been at the beach all day so it wasn’t without good reason that they wanted to leave. I just want to get the most out of my first vacation out of town since Disney in 2005 other than going to Helen for the weekend last year. This looks to be my only real vacation for this year as well.

I will probably go along with whatever plans the wife and her friend come up with today as this fall her friend and the kids are moving to Cyprus and it is unlikely that we will see them again anytime soon. I don’t particularly want to be the turd in the punchbowl just because I am on vacation. I think at some point the girls and I will drive in to the island though and do something just for the family. I have a three week pass to get into Sea Pines so might as well get some use out of it.

For those that don’t know, Hilton Head is divided into several different areas. Some of it is for the plebes and rednecks that live there like you and I, but quite a bit of it is gated communities. During business hours you can get in, but you have to pay. Just to get into the South Beach area which is in the Sea Pines community, and where the Salty Dog and the lighthouse are, is $5. Not much, but if you are making more than one sightseeing trip it can start getting expensive.

Just checked the weather and it looks like it’s got about a 40% chance of rain with scattered thunderstorms so it shouldn’t be too bad today whatever we do. I can only hope that I am getting some rain back at the house. I went ahead and watered my tomatoes and stuff at the house before we left and hopefully they won’t all be dead by the time we get back on Tuesday.

I told the wife yesterday that I didn’t like this laptop thing but I am starting to get used to it and if the keyboard would act right and I could configure it the way that I like I could probably get used to it pretty quickly. It’s got a nice big widescreen and I am able to set the resolution to a nice big size which I prefer.

I am sure that I will get the chance to post at least a couple of pics later today and maybe something from the iPaq as well, but this is about it today otherwise. Don’t know if any of my guests will stop by to abuse me today or not, but if so it’s bound to be fun…

Crispy Critter



Crispy Critter

Originally uploaded by rmiles


At the beach



At the beach

Originally uploaded by rmiles


A Penny For Your Thoughts

Bullshit!

Americans are Americans plain and simple.  I’m sick and tired of hearing African
American, Asian American, Mexican American, Hispanic American, whatever, etc,
etc, bla bla bla.

I’m also sick and tired of hearing about Slavery and
Reparations. Slavery was, and is, wrong, but I did not participate. I DID NOT
PARTICIPATE!

Some Americans continue to rant and rave about slavery and
injustice.  Well here’s one for
you.  The Europeans, climbed aboard
boats, sailed into the sunset, and basically stole two continents from the
natives.

What do you think about that?

I think sometimes people confuse injustice with
progress.  I guess it’s all a matter of
perspective.  Remember, I said
“sometimes”

And for the record: 
Some Americans tell other Americans to “go back to somewhere”. This is
incorrect because 99% of the Americans being told to “go back” have never been
to somewhere in the first place.  So,
how could they go back?

If you want to tell someone to go back to somewhere, first
ensure they’ve been there before, or just drop the back and you’ll be cool.

On an unrelated matter: 
Blogging for money, in my opinion, is just as fucked up.  It’s like paying someone to be your
friend…or, fucking for money, which means you, would be a whore.

Brings new meaning to “a penny for your thoughts”.

If someone said to me, “I’ll give you some money for your
opinion on this or that issue…I’ll bitchslap you ass quicker than you can get
out of the way”.  99% of the bloggers I
read can’t write worth a shit anyway…including me.  They couldn’t get published at gunpoint. Does that stop me from
stopping by?  NO.  I just think everyone needs to keep things
in perspective.  If you want to make
some cash for your opinions…write a fucking book.  Opinions should NOT be for sale. 
As soon as people start selling their opinions on the Internet, and
people start buying them, we are fucked.

Anyone who solicits money for their opinions can kiss my ass.

So, for any of you who think your opinions are worth money…I
say Fuck You.  I will not pay a dime.

I have many opinions on just about everything…but I’ll
express them freely, for free…thank you very much.

I think…well never mind what I think, but if you send me some money…I’ll tell you.

Hey Richard…buy you and your wife a couple of beers and shots on me, and we’ll get cleaned up the next time our paths cross.

I’ll be back later.

Cool Runnings!!!

"Surprise" Party

This story gives a whole new meaning to “suprise” party:

“A Belgian man appeared in court on Friday after a woman at his dinner party found the bodies of his wife and stepson in the freezer as she put away the leftovers, prosecutors said. The woman went to the police after discovering the 46-year-old woman and her 11-year-old son and officers arrested the man in the town of Verviers, near Liege in east Belgium, on Wednesday. “She went to the freezer and that is what she saw. She then alerted the police,” said Georges Lahaye of the local public prosecutors’ office.”

I’ve been to some WILD parties in my day, but never THAT wild. I’m guessing that lady friend won’t go back to any of his dinner parties in the future.

Hilton Head

Haven’t made it to the island yet although I think we are going this morning. I’m ready to get my pale legs out on the beach. I should be able to scare us up some room with my white whale belly.

We arrived in Bluffton about 5:30 yesterday afternoon and hooked up with our friend Niqui and her family and dragged them all to some buffett place for dinner. I am usually pretty leery about eating at places like that but this was damn good. I had mostly seafood and stuffed myself. I even had the chance to try some of that low country boil that Catfish always talks about. Pretty good. It’s like gumbo without the spiciness. There was spice, it’s just not quite as hot as I was expecting.

Going out to dinner with her and the clan is always interesting. It was the wife and I and our two girls as well as Niqui and her five children that still live at home. Anytime you walk in someplace with seven children people scatter. Don’t know what it is.

As I said, we are heading to the island within the hour and will spend the day there. We may go by the Art Cafe for awhile as well if it gets too hot at the beach. The Art Cafe is one of those places where everyone goes and paints pottery and then it gets fired. That’s Niqui’s place.
I got to sleep until about 7:30 this morning, which is pretty late for me. It was nice to get a full eight hours of sleep all in one shot. Not used to that.

At some point in the day I will give the VMan a call, as I think we are going to get together for dinner and maybe a few drinks. Niqui suggested a place where her daughter works but it sounds pretty nice and I don’t know how well they will take to us sitting there for several hours.

I just figured I would post an update to how we are doing. I will hopefully have pictures and stuff to post later.

Walgreens

From what I have witnessed around these parts, it’s still hard for individuals with disabilities to find a decent job in this day and age. With the proper support and perhaps a modification to the process or work area, these individuals can and will do a great job. A friend sent me the link to this story about Walgreen’s, which proves that point exactly. 

I tip my hat to this company for making the accommodations necessary to employ a diverse workforce and in the process, getting a 20% higher efficiency from this particular distribution plant. They are smart enough to realize the talent and potential of this under utilized group of people. Other companies are starting to take notice and this gives me great hope for the future for my daughter and for many other talented individuals who may not have otherwise been able to find gainful employment.

(Cross-posted from Blissful Bedlam.)