October 2007

All in all I felt like crap on Sunday morning. Nay..I felt like hammered dogshit as Rob would say. I was really looking forward to getting up, packing up, checking out and going to breakfast with the rest of the bloggers prior to heading back to Atlanta.

What I actually did was lie in a coma as the wife and Michelle packed up the cabin and stayed there until it was time to go. I belted myself into the truck while they checked out and said goodbye to everyone. A few brave souls came over to say goodbye, at east until I decided it was time to exit the truck and go blow chunks by the Chattahoochee. That must have been an interesting site for the mid-morning old people taking their morning constitutional walks. At least the monkey hat was off my head.

Luckily that was the end of the nausea but I did spend the entire day sleeping and whining about how awful I felt. Hell, I am still dehydrated 🙂

No phone calls, no dealing with work. Thank goodness there wasn’t any major emergency at work that required my attention.

I am still pissed off that I felt so crappy on Sunday morning. What a freaking lightweight I have become in my old age…

This is when it started getting really ugly. Actually it was a blast and didn’t get rough for me until most of the folks had already retired for the evening. Somehow it was decided by a general concensus well ahead of time (like before I arrived) that the party would be at my cabin on Saturday evening. Oh shit…

It was also voted that we would be having a cook-out for supper rather than everyone invading a restaurant on Saturday night, so a boatload of people walked to the store and bought steaks, vegetables and other goodies. Luckily I was not the one that had to prepare dinner for a change.

It took a while to prepare half a cow and involved stealing a grill and loading it into the back of my pickup truck which I was in no shape to drive, so I handed over the keys and allowed the hooligans to take it. Good steaks were had by all but I think I will grill them next time. Mine was a crispy critter, but then again it could have been the liquor clouding my judgement. I have never had a steak doused with garlic butter though, and I must say that it is a wondrous thing. Thanks, Elisson. Good stuff there.

After we ate there was plenty of entertainment in which I remember nothing in any particular order but we had Robert Service by way of Eric, a great ghost story from Joan (the bearer of flying monkeys) and mucho singing and guitar playing from the elderly brothers as well as several others. RSM has impeccable timing and showed up prior to dinner being served, as did Kelly and the Senior Chief whom I haven’t seen since last year’s yellin’ in Helen.

I think my downfall was the fact that I joined in a couple of Chocolate Vodka toasts on top of all the punch and beer. Man that stuff is good.

Getting Denny the Grouchy Old Cripple up the stairs was quite interesting but not nearly as much fun as bearing him back down the stairs in his wheelchair. He is a much braver man than I as I would have crapped my pants having us drunks carry me down stairs like that.

The party had pretty much died down with a few diehard exceptions when I finally decided I needed to make my exit. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) the party was in my cabin so it was difficult to make my way up to the second floor so that I could blow chunks in privacy. I ended up spending half the night on the bathroom floor so that I could be as close as possibly to the porcelain altar in case I needed to pray. Once I started feeling as if I didn’t need to throw up anymore I moved back to the bed, but on the side closest to the bathroom.

Apparently Zonker and Michelle needed to continue the party so they joined our neighbors in the cabin next door. I don’t know the specific details but it had something to do with this chick who was there with her ex-husband and current boyfriend, all of whom were sleeping together. Surreal. I understand that it started moving in the direction of the macabre for awhile. I did manage to get something out of it though, as she actually allowed them to take a photo for this weeks edition of…

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As last year, we spent most of Saturday afternoon parked outside by the river. It didn’t take long before a crowd gathered and the implements of destruction started to come out.

I think that I started out with Sam Adams Oktoberfest around 11AM or so. Quite fitting for the Blogtoberfest it was indeed. Georgia brought the Love Ewe down to the river to keep us company and we found out that it was she who kept the Love Ewe company Friday night. At least someone had a bit of fun

After a bit of introspection Elisson found directions on the sheep’s ass. What he was doing with the sheep’s ass I didn’t bother asking. Just saying, that’s all. I did manage to get a bit of video of the poetic reading as a matter of fact. It’s a pretty crappy video but what the hell do you expect from my cell phone anyway, miracles?

After the bit of reading some more quite interesting things came out such as Flying Monkeys and the Headless Cock.

I am still not sure who enjoyed stroking the cock more…     

The flying monkeys kicked ass though. Key shows us how they work. I think this was shortly after V-Man beaned with in the lip with a half-rubber. That fucker is still swollen.

My girls got the booty when I arrived home so that is most likely the last I will see of the flying monkey, at least until it swoops down upon my unsuspecting head.

Of course maybe I shouldn’t have given them the monkey, particularly after catfish inserted it into the Ewe…

Throughout the afternoon various items found their way into the back end of the Love Ewe. I can only show you those safe for family viewing however

Sam demonstrates the proper placement of Shiner. This was right around the time that some new arrivals showed up. John Cox paid us a visit after Sam and Zonker drove to Atlanta and kidnapped him at gunpoint. Art will never be the same again. Eric and Fiona also arrived shortly after the sheep shenanigans as well.

The punch arrived…

Ah, the punch…Much can be said about Chatham Artillery Punch. Mixed with several hours of drinking beer and washed down with Chocolate Vodka…It’s no wonder that I woke up dead Sunday morning.

Georgia shows us her Headless Cock impersonation…

Quite a likeness…

And the amazing swelling reptile was brought out. Not that one, a real fake reptile.

This bad boy when immersed in water is supposed to swell up to three feet long within seven days…It disappeared at some point prior to Sunday morning…

A bit of Half-Rubber was finally played. The Kristy decided to park cars where we played last year, so we moved the deal over behind our cabins. Less bother for the normal people I am sure, what with all of the fun going on.

“If you don’t throw the ball right this time I am going to beat you to death with a shovel!”

That was right around the end of my picture taking for the weekend. I shot a couple hundred pictures. Some were pretty good and some were shit. I will be posting them eventually and if you want, shoot me an email and I will ftp them somewhere or I can probably burn a CD.

Anyway, around four or so several of us decided that we were getting hungry. Being as how I am such a lightweight drinker I thought that food might be a good thing to have. Zonker knew of a barbecue place and several of us made the trek. It was pretty good but I still haven’t decided if the half mile walk to the place was worth it or not. It did manage to negate the effects of the alcohol that I had imbibed thus far, or at least push them into the background for awhile.

Shortly after getting back to the area I returned to my comfy chair and started in on the punch again. It was about that time that I said fuck it and called my senior manager and informed him that he was in charge for the rest of the evening and the next morning and that I would be turning my phone off until I arrived home. That may have been a mistake…

John did a few caricatures while he was there, and has them up at his site as well. Luckily I was fortunate enough not to have been drawn. I was pretty much a walking caricature with my zeebus T-shirt and monkey on the head anyway. Forgot to tell you about that part…perhaps later, when I return to talk about the rest of Saturday night and Sunday morning.