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My third shift cook that only works two nights a week and that hung me LAST weekend because he was in the crossbar motel called about five o’ clock. He and his wife are on the schedule for tonight, tomorrow, and Christmas eve from something like 8pm-2pm. He said that his mother was flying in to Hartsfield tonight, but he didn’t know what time, and his wife’s car was in the shop, so they could not come in (and so on ad nauseum). He sounded drunk, but could have just been tired. They do work full time jobs during the week, which is why I let them off Christmas Day. They are the only people on my staff that are off on Christmas, mainly because they have to be back at work at 7am on the 26th.

I asked him why his wife couldn’t drive down to the airport and pick them up after dropping him off at work. He started arguing with me and started coming up with reasons why not. Basically it boils down to he was either drunk, or just decided to get fired prior to Christmas. If I was going to quit, it would be now, not afterward. I told him that he didn’t have a choice, it was not enough notice and he had to be there. He told me to do whatever I had to and if I needed to fire him that was fine. At that point I said “whatever” and hung up. I had to try and get the shift covered and go to bed in case I ended up working in his place. 30 minutes later he calls me back and asks why I hung up on him. I asked him if he was calling me back to tell me he was going to be there, at which point he said no, he wanted to know why I hung up on him. He was pretty pissed off. I told him that since I had to cook in his place I was sleeping, and hung up again. He has called back once, but I just let the asshole roll to voice mail, which he did not leave.

One of my two cooks for second shift just didn’t bother to show up today, so I suppose I have to get that covered. I am going in to work in about a half hour to cook for awhile and see if I can cover tomorrow. The good thing is that this guy is not That good anyway, so would have been replaced eventually anyway. I just hate that it had to be this weekend. My Christmas Day just keeps getting longer and longer.

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I ended my day at work yesterday by spending my afternoon at the doctors office and then at line at the pharmacy waiting on a damn prescription for Silver Oxide. I burned the crap out of my hand at work yesterday, which is something I haven’t done in a very long time. Fortunately that’s what we pay workers comp insurance for. What really surprised me is that they didn’t drug test me. The drug test EVERYONE for workers comp injuries now.

My personal doctor is on the panel of physicians, so that is who I went to see. There’s that and the fact that our workers comp office has to call and set up the appointment. I know everyone at our corporate office, so she probably just forgot to request a drug test. It doesn’t matter to me either way, but considering how many dumb asses show up to work stoned or drunk and hurt themselves, I am really surprised about it.

The hardest [art about a burn like this is that every time that I even get near the grill, my hand feels like it’s on fire. That’s all kinds of fun.

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…or at least he has been charged. Stephen Wright of Ipswich has been charged with killing five prostitutes nearby. Hopefully this IS the guy and this will be the end of it.

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I had a pretty short day at work for the most part. Home by 2:30, which was very nice. We went to the Christmas party my boss puts on for her three kids and had a pretty good time. A nice little covered dish. It would have been nice to have more people actually bring food, but it was still enjoyable.

I had to go back to work for shift change since I am off tomorrow, and then came home to help the wife finish wrapping gifts and putting one together in preparation for our Christmas tomorrow. I had just finished up about 11:15 and one of my waitresses calls and says that the credit card machine won’t print.

Now let me tell you about this machine. It is literally designed for dumb asses to be able to use and not fuck up. It is a thermal printer, so no need to worry about running out of ink. The top flips up to allow you to lay the roll of paper in. No running though slots or catching the end on rollers. Just lay the fucker in and close it (the roller sits on top of the paper and is attached to the top). Designed for stupid fucking people. So I asked very specifically if they had opened it up and made sure that the paper was just laid in there and not put through, and I also asked if they had made sure to snap the top shut. Of course they had. I even asked a second time because I knew they had done something stupid and really didn’t want to drive to fucking work after 11pm. They insisted that it was just not working

Made the drive and walked in. 30 seconds later I was walking back out after laying the fucking paper in that they had shoved up and around the roller in a way that it wasn’t designed for. The machine was made for dumb asses and my third shift doesn’t even meet that criteria. Damn. I don’t think I said but maybe two works while I was in there. A couple of customers were laughing there asses off as I was on my way out the door. It is funny, and I am sure that they could tell I was pissed at my third shift. Three cretins that had to call me to lay a roll of paper in and shut the top. Real damn funny.

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…at work. My 3rd shift cook and his wife apparently got arrested over the weekend. I found out about fifteen minutes AFTER he was supposed to be there last night.

It took me about 45 minutes, but I finally got it covered with one of my former employees from another store. Finally got to go to bed.

When I arrived at work this morning, I was informed that my cook had called in about an hour prior and said that her boyfriend was sick and told her she could either call in OR quit. She won’t have to worry about that fucking dilemma again as she has been removed from the schedule entirely. Number one, all of my employees have been told that they HAVE to call me, or MY boss if they are calling in. Even if they just get my voice mail, as long as they call within an appropriate amount of time before their shift, I will accept that. Being too chicken shit to call me and just calling work either loses you more days, or gets you shitcanned. In this case it’s the latter because this is the second time in the last ten days.

I knew then that it was going to be a hard day, I was already running short one waitress but figured that we would be able to help them out. I still had my manager trainee, and while she is still slow as hell, she is doing pretty good.

About 8am some of my employees came in to get paid. I don’t normally pay in the middle of the shift, but went ahead and let my trainee do it. Well, about thirty minutes later, in rolls one of Temple’s finest. Apparently one of the hundreds that my trainee had paid my cook with was counterfeit and he tried to use it at the truck stop down the street. Once it was explained exactly what happened, he let my cook go, and he either made a really big mistake, or just didn’t want to do any paperwork. He left the hundred with me. Good for me. It ends up hitting my unit’s profits, but you can’t get better proof of a counterfeit than being able to attach it to the paperwork. I wasn’t very good, but even I didn’t catch it when I was doing my cash audit. The paper was fine, all of my employees know to mark bills over $10 and they do so religiously.

We started to get busy about nine AM and my trainee gets a call that her fiance and eleven year old had driven through the front of a laundromat. Damn. That’s about the time my day really started sucking bad. I ended up cooking most of the day by myself and we are fairly busy on the weekends. I finally got home from work about an hour ago, where I had planned to get home about three o’ clock. I guess we will decorate the tree tomorrow night.

Oh yeah, about five one of my third shift waitresses (for tonight) calls in and quits. Stupid bitch. I had planned on replacing her after the holidays anyway, but I guess she figured that if she was gonna quit before getting fired, might as well do so the week before Christmas.

Attrition is starting to whittle my staff down to what it should be, but AFTER next week. I need all the extra help I can get until then.

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…like most of my second and third shift employees. Since my food cost is so fucking high, I have been spending an inordinate amount of time checking tickets. EVERY ticket that comes through the place. Normally I would just go through and make sure that none were missing, and maybe check about five from each waitress. Since there is so much waste going on, I needed to start going through them with a fine tooth comb. I was there until after midnight last night.

My third shift is pretty slow right now. VERY slow. There’s nothing here in town to keep people awake after 9PM or so, not even a grocery store or any other places, so it is pretty dead. About 10:30PM or so, my entire third shift decided to sit their happy asses down at the low counter and take a break. This is only about an hour and a half since the start of the shift, so it’s not like everyone was exhausted from the five customers they had waited on. We have assigned cleaning, and prep work, and plenty of shit to do. Any we don’t sit down in the customer area while on the clock. I guess they must have forgotten that I was there, or maybe they are as fucking stupid as I think they are.

I decided to clock their asses out until they got back up. Hell, about 11PM or so I got tired of waiting, leaned out from the back room and asked if they had finished their assigned cleaning. My cook says brilliantly “What?”. I explained that they don’t get paid while sitting at my low counter and they need to get their stuff taken care of. They were up and working at least until I left about and hour later. I’m sure that they sat their asses back down once that happened.

I went by this afternoon briefly to speak with my boss, and the ONE extra thing that I had assigned my cook did not get done. I can’t wait for the holidays to be over so that I can get rid of the rest of these ass clowns.

A few months ago I visited the CAIR website. Apparently if you sign up on their list they will send you a free copy of the Koran. Cool. I mean, you can’t really diss a religion if you don’t actually know anything about it. I know all about it’s millions of worshipers, but that doesn’t really tell me anything about Islam itself other than a bunch of stupid people worship, but that’s not a lot different than other religions, except that they are more violent, while the other major religions of the world have evolved and let the secular governments take care of violence for them.

Damn, this thing is big and heavy. It’s going to take me forever to read it. For the time being it is sitting in the shrink wrap on my floor, so I guess I am already starting out bad, at least according to the coversheet that they sent with it. Speaking of the coversheet, here’s what it says.

“This is a book that We have revealed to you (Prophet Muhammad) so that you may lead mankind out of the depths of darkness into the light.” (The Holy Quran, 14:1)

Greetings:

Thank you for requesting your copy of the Holy Quran, Islam’s revealed text. This is an important step toward understanding and coming to appreciate the universal teachings of Islam.

I hope you will take the earliest opportunity to read its verses and reflect on their meaning, thus doing your part to promote mutual understanding and tolerance of religious diversity in America.

That certainly starts out innocently enough. Of course I want religious diversity and freedom in America. Hell, I’m even OK if the Great Spaghetti Monster takes a stop in and wants to hang out.

As you may know, Muslims regard the Quran as the inerrant Word of God as revealed to the Prophet blah blah blah and so on lets get to the good part.

Muslims are taught from an early age to treat the Quran with great care and respect. For example, Muslims avoid placing the Quran on the floor, near the toilet and sink, near the feet, or in dirty or wet areas, as this is considered inappropriate treatment of a holy text.

Oops. Since it’s currently holding down the floor next to my computer desk, I guess I am already fucked. Well, it is still wrapped up, maybe I have an out there. I wonder if my mail carrier made sure not to set her mail bag on the floor today. She could already be subject to eternal damnation for that one.

Many Muslims hold the Quran by taking it in both hands as one would a valuable piece of art and keep themselves in a state of ritual purity, washing before opening the holy book.

Damn, I forgot to wash after I played with myself earlier. I haven’t even cracked the book and have already sinned. That’s pretty heavy stuff.

Just as Muslims are expected to treat the religious texts of others with the utmost respect and courtesy, so too do we hope that you will take the information above into consideration when handling the Holy Quran. (or we will come fuck your mothers and cut your dick off before we blow something up).

Damn. Most of my reading time for something like this is spent on the toilet, so the entire time I will be reading it, Muhammad will be looking down on me thinking what a bastard I am.

Technorati : Islam, Koran, Muslims, Quran